68. Crossing the Rubicon

 Julius Caesar will later cite protection of his dignitas as one of his main reasons for crossing the Rubicon. It's not the only reason he cites, but it is one of his more famous reasons. By today's standards, it's a surprisingly transparent claim. He's essentially justifying doing the unthinkable and launching Rome into civil war by citing self-interest, his dignitas, and that may seem a ridiculous and hollow defense to us today. Imagine a U.S. general marching on Washington, D.C. today and citing his reasons as protecting his dignity.

 But then again, dignity is not dignitas. Dignitas is a fundamentally Roman idea, and as much as we try to understand the concept of dignitas, we'll never understand it on an emotional level the way an ancient Roman would. Especially not a patrician, a scion of one of the great houses of Rome. Even more so for a man who has been consul, Pontifex Maximus, who has won the civic crown, has been pro-consul of three provinces for a near ten years, and has conquered Gaul. A man like that will have a concept of dignitas that is impossible for us to truly fathom. But we can try.

Dignitas is something that we've mentioned offhand several times throughout this podcast, but I've never dived too deep into its definition. For one, it's not particularly easy to understand or define. And two, I was waiting for this moment. Historian Mary Beard defines dignitas as, “a distinctly Roman combination of clout, prestige, and right to respect”.

 Historian Adrian Goldsworthy describes dignitas as “the sober bearing that displayed openly the importance and responsibility of a man and so commanded respect. This was considerable for any citizen of Rome, greater for an aristocrat, and greater still for a man who had held a magistracy.” He also says that dignitas had a far more powerful resonance than its English derivative, dignity. 

In the Civil War Commentaries, the looming Civil War's version of Caesar's earlier Gallic War Commentaries, Caesar writes, 

“Dignitatum”, and dignitatum is the accusative form of dignitas, so he writes, “Dignitatum has always been of prime importance to me, even outweighing life itself.”

You really can't get a clearer statement of just how important dignitas is to Caesar. He values it over his own life. And I don't think he's just being dramatic there. I genuinely believe him when he makes this claim. And we've always said Roman politics is intensely personal rather than ideological. So it really shouldn't come as any kind of surprise that its civil wars often come down to personal feuds and the protection of equality as personal as dignitas.

 And so as Goldsworthy writes, the Roman world was plunged into chaos and bloodshed because one man was as determined to protect his dignitas as others were to destroy it. So that is one of Caesar's motivations for what comes next. Not his only motivation, but easily his most infamous. And we'll get into his other motivations as our story progresses, though it can be difficult to tell at times which are real motivations and which are mere pretexts. 

So with an understanding of Caesar's dignitas and what it means to him, let us continue with their ancient Cold War, which is about to get very hot.

 49 BC has arrived, and with it, the tension will be ramped up and Rome will hit a fever pitch. In fact, Marc Antony has already gotten a head start. As Tribune, his office began in December. And on December 21st of 50 BC, Antony had delivered a speech to the Senate attacking Pompey starting from the time Pompey was a boy and even threatening armed intervention. While Caesar wanted someone to stand up to the Senate, I'm not so sure this is what he meant.

 He is still trying to negotiate with him after all. Upon reading a copy of this speech, Pompey said to Cicero, 

“What do you reckon Caesar himself will be like if he gets control of the Republic if now his weak and worthless quaestor acts like this?”. 

The weak and worthless quaestor in that question is, of course, Marc Antony. 

On January 1st of 49 BC, Caesar gives a letter to Curio to be taken to Rome and read out to the Senate. You'll remember Curio fled Rome after his tribuneship and joined Caesar. Now he goes back to Rome to bring this letter to be read in front of the Senate. The consuls attempt to block the reading of this letter, but Marc Antony and his fellow tribune Quintus Cassius Longinus compel them to hear the letter with Antony reading it himself. 

Now in writing this letter, it seems Caesar is losing his patience with the fantasy world the Optimates and the Senate are living in. He still tries to come to a peaceful settlement, but he also tries to shake them awake a bit.

 He attempts to drive home the reality, since they seem to have forgotten, that he is a general with a veteran army perched above Rome and he can and he will act in his own defense if forced to. He doesn't want to do this, but this is the road they are pushing him and the whole Republic down. In this letter, Caesar reminds the Senate of all the things he has done for Rome throughout his life and all of his achievements. He then again states that he will lay down his legions and his command if Pompey does the same. But if Pompey does not, Caesar says he will come quickly to avenge the wrongs done to him and his country.

 At least, those are his words according to Appian writing almost two centuries later. But certainly Cicero, a contemporary during these events, felt the letter from Caesar was menacing and offensive, despite Caesar describing the letter as his very moderate demands. Rather than waking the Optimate led Senate up to the realpolitik of their situation, this letter seems to have driven them further into their fool's paradise. The Optimates don't see this as a clear, direct communication on what will happen if they continue to dig in their heels. They see it as a threat.

 In fact, more than that, they see it as an outright declaration of war. So after refusing to allow debate on this letter, the Senate passes a motion declaring that Caesar must lay down his command by a fixed date or else be considered a public enemy. Clearly, Caesar's letter has not had the hoped-for effect. In fact, it's backfired. Lucky for Caesar, and in fact the whole Republic, Antony and Cassius vetoed this motion.

 Morally right or wrong, Pompey and the Optimates are increasingly overplaying their hand. They're so focused on what they think Caesar should do, they're not considering what he actually can do. Caesar has mobilized veteran legions ready to fight. Pompey and the Optimates are still in the process of mobilizing a force that will mostly be made up of raw recruits. We talked in our last episode about how the Optimates are blinded by their hatred of Julius Caesar.

 They refuse to see him as the tiger he has become and they insist on treating him like a house cat. And as such, they are pushing him further and further into a corner and poking him repeatedly with a stick. You can get away with treating a house cat that way. You do so to a tiger at your own peril. More than likely, you will get mauled.

 Caesar is that tiger sitting above Rome. And with that letter to the Senate, he is growling. He is sending them a warning. The Optimates response is to say, bad cat, and poke him again with a stick. 

Caesar seems to have realized that maybe this letter to the Senate was a misstep if he really wants peace. So now he changes his tune. With Cicero acting as arbitrator trying to bring the two sides together, Caesar sends letters and representatives privately to leading men in Rome and offers to lay down Transalpine Gaul and all but two of his legions. All that he asks in return is that he be allowed to remain a proconsul until 48 BC and that he be allowed to run for consul in absentia. Pompey rejects this compromise. Caesar then lowers his asking price even further, offering to only keep Cisalpine Gaul and one legion.

His other two provinces would be handed over to other men and his legions would either be disbanded or taken over by some representative of the Senate. War would be avoided and Caesar would keep his imperium until he's ready to run for consul when he would utilize the privilege to run for office in absentia. The end result would be peace. Pompey is willing to accept this compromise. Caesar with only one legion and one province is not a threat.

 But Cato and the Optimates reject this offer and Cato cries out that Pompey is blundering again and letting Caesar deceive him. Cato also says that he can't agree to anything that is presented in private rather than in front of the Senate. Which is odd considering that the Optimates tried to block Caesar's last letter from being read in front of the Senate. Well, with Cato and the Optimates’  rejection of this compromise, it falls through. The negotiations are back to a deadlock with the Senate repeatedly trying to pass motions to attack Caesar and Anthony and Cassius vetoing these motions.

 After one of these Senate meetings, Pompey summons the Senate to his house. There he attempts to reassure them and show that he is strong and prepared to fight Caesar if needed. Caesar's father-in-law, Calpurnius Piso, doesn't like the direction all of this is moving. And so he asks permission to go with a praetor to meet with Caesar in person before the Senate takes any drastic action. Some other senators chime in and say that actually an even larger delegation should be sent. Cato and a number of the Optimates speak against this and the idea is killed.

Now, so far we've had a long series of complex events that have pushed the Republic closer and closer to civil war, each event pushing it nearer but not quite over the edge. This is where that changes. What happens next is the beginning of the end for peace. 

On January 7th of 49 BC, the Senate meets again and decides to raise the stakes. They pass the Ultimate Decree, not exactly the same but very roughly equivalent to martial law. This is a decree the tribunes cannot veto. The decree calls on the consuls, proconsuls, praetors, and tribunes to take steps to see that the state comes to no harm. Of course, everyone knows this decree is really calling on Pompey, the proconsul, to protect Rome from Caesar. After this decree is passed, the consul Lentulus tells Antony and Cassius he can no longer guarantee their safety in Rome. So Antony and Cassius flee Rome disguised as slaves along with Curio. In a letter, Cicero describes Antony and Cassius as having been expelled from the Senate House. 

The Optimates then, according to Caesar, award proconsular and propraetorian commands to several of their members, and these chosen men leave Rome without waiting for the popular assembly to ratify their appointments. Two of the provinces handed out are Caesar's provinces of Cisalpine and Transalpine Gaul. The Senate has now officially replaced Caesar at least in two of his three provinces.

 This awarding of provinces which come with armies to fellow Optimates is another step in preparing for war with Caesar, and as such, it's an aggressive move. Now, Optimates the may not have seen passing the ultimate decree as a declaration of war. For them, it may just have been a bit of brinksmanship to further push Caesar to back down and obey the Senate. If so, they've completely lost the script. 

For one, Caesar never backs down. This is the guy who point-blank refused to divorce his wife when the dictator Sulla ordered him to. He was 19 years old with no power back then, and he still wasn't willing to back down when the penalty was having his name put on a death list. Two, Caesar has spent a lifetime breaking rules and flaunting the authority of the Senate. In fact, his philosophy in life has always seemed to be, if he can do it, he will do it, regardless of legal authority. 

The man ran roughshod over the Senate's authority during his consulship. He's coming fresh off of eight years of illegal wars. Why would you possibly think it's a good idea to corner this man with the norms and laws of the Republic, where his only out will be to smash said rules and norms? The man lives to break rules. Of course he's going to march on Rome. There's nothing physically stopping him.

 Speaking of Caesar, he has not been sitting idle while his agents try to negotiate a peaceful settlement. Caesar has been desperately working for peace, but he's also preparing for war if it should come to that. Back in the fall of 50 BC, Caesar started repositioning his army. He placed several legions near the border of Transalpine Gaul and Spain to guard against any invasion from Pompey's legions in Spain. He also made sure the equivalent of three or four legions were ready to join him south of the Alps if it should come to war.

 Finally, he even recruited 22 new independent cohorts of fresh troops to make up for his two lost legions. Those were the two that Pompey tricked him into giving up. Despite all these maneuvers, Caesar is very careful not to concentrate any of his forces in northern Italy to avoid any accusations that he's preparing for an invasion. He himself is sitting in Ravenna in northern Italy with only one legion and 300 cavalry. Ravenna is near the southern border of Caesar's province.

 Well, when Caesar learns of the passing of the ultimate decree and the expulsion of his tribunes, it's the last straw. To him, this is an absolute declaration of war. He writes in his commentaries on the Civil War, 

“When I wrote to the Senate suggesting a general demobilization, I was not allowed even that. Troops are being raised all over Italy. My two legions, which were taken from me on the pretext of a Parthian campaign, are being retained, and the whole state is in arms. What is the aim of all these preparations but my destruction?”.

Now, it's a little unclear exactly when and where, but at some point, either in Ravenna just before crossing the Rubicon or in Ariminum just after crossing the Rubicon, Caesar decides to give his army some motivation via a rousing speech. And during this speech, being the consummate showman he is, Caesar parades the tribunes Antony and Cassius before the 13th legion, still dressed as slaves. Suetonius has Caesar dramatically addressing his troops with tears in his eyes while tearing his robes from his chest.

 Caesar himself makes no mention of this, but he does say that he gave a speech to the 13th legion, telling them of all the wrongs being done to him and how the sacred rights of the tribunes were being abused. Quoting himself in the Civil War commentaries, Caesar writes, 

“‘I have been your commander for nine years. Under my leadership, your efforts on Rome's behalf have been crowned with good fortune. You have won countless battles and pacified the whole of Gaul and Germany. Now I ask you to defend my reputation and standing against the assaults of my enemies.’” End of Caesar quoting himself, he then continues in the commentaries, “The men of the 13th legion clamored that they were ready to avenge the wrongs done to their general and to the tribunes.”. 

Now satisfied that his men are sufficiently motivated and willing to follow him into civil war, Caesar starts preparing for his offensive in secret. Now it should also be said that though Caesar has a point with regard to how the tribunes were treated, this is all really just a pretext. I think with the ultimate decree passed and Pompey gathering armies and provinces, including his own being Caesar's own being handed out, Caesar feels certain that the other side is just never going to agree to any sort of peace deal. 

They're determined to fight and the longer he waits, the more powerful they get. So Caesar seizes on this poor treatment of the tribunes as a pretext for war. After all, defending the rights of the tribunes is a reasoning any Roman can understand and get behind. Caesar will show these claims to be hypocritical though, when only a short time later, he himself will threaten to kill a tribune of the plebs.

 Well, now that Caesar has riled up the 13th legion and is confident of their support in the coming contest, I think we all know the momentous occasion that comes next. The crossing of the Rubicon. This is one of the most monumental moments in all of human history. So famous, so transcendent that even today you can find references to it all over our modern world. Whether in real life, a movie, a book, or a TV show, I guarantee you have heard someone talk of crossing the Rubicon.

 This is a phrase which has come to mean that a line has been crossed or an action has been taken that cannot be undone and which will have seismic consequences. In other words, there is life before the Rubicon and there is life after crossing the Rubicon, and once crossed, you can never turn back. Things can never go back to the way they were. Analogies to the crossing of the Rubicon speak so much to us even today that modern companies try to use this idiom to help them sell their products, hoping some of that Julius Caesar magic 2,000 years old, though it is, might just rub off on them and their product. I'm looking at you, Jeep.

 I see it all the time when I'm driving the Jeep Rubicon, a modern company reaching to antiquity to try to convey to their customers that this is a vehicle in which you can cross true frontiers, a vehicle which will allow you to venture into the wilderness and the unknown. And like Caesar crossing the Rubicon, there is life before buying this Jeep and after buying this Jeep, and once you have experienced the Jeep Rubicon, you can never go back to the way life once was, or so Jeep wants you to believe. Personally, I have never driven any kind of Jeep, never mind a Rubicon, and I have no idea whether it lives up to the marketing or not, but my point is that a modern company felt there was no better way to convey the gravity and life-changing nature of their product than to reference an event in the life of Julius Caesar. And every time I see one of these Jeep Rubicons, I look at the driver and I wonder to myself if they have any idea they are driving a car whose name was inspired by Julius Caesar in ancient Rome. And it isn't just Jeep that tries to get some of that Julius Caesar luster to rub off on them by invoking the Rubicon.

 Just do a quick Google of the word Rubicon and you will find company after company utilizing the name in some way or another. I found two tech companies, a humanitarian organization, a wedding venue, a theater company, and a workforce development program. And that was just the first page of Google. But despite the massive impact the crossing of the Rubicon had on history and the power its name still invokes today, Julius Caesar makes no mention of it. In the Civil War commentaries, Caesar skips right over the crossing, doesn't even hint at it.

 He's in Ravenna, and then he simply says he set out for Ariminum with the 13th Legion. Not a mention of any river or boundary crossed. I have to think this is because Caesar had no desire to draw attention to the moment when he marched his army out of his province and officially became an outlaw. The Civil War commentaries, like the Gallic War commentaries, were after all written to justify his actions in the eyes of his contemporaries and posterity. Fortunately for us, later sources did write down the events surrounding the Rubicon in detail, and some of them base at least part of their histories on a personal eyewitness account.

 One of Caesar's officers, a man named Asinius Pollio, was with Caesar at the crossing of the Rubicon and at other seismic moments in Roman history, like the future Battle of Pharsalus. And after the Civil War, Asinius Pollio wrote a history of the Civil War. To our great misfortune, that history is lost to us today. It's one of those documents I dream of archaeologists one day rediscovering. That along with Caesar's lost letters to Cicero and his other lost writings, Sulla's memoirs, a complete version of the commentaries on Caesar's Spanish War without all the gaps and corruptions, Alexander the Great's friend and general Ptolemy's memoirs, Ennius' Annales, and so so many more.

 The typical dream of many a history buff is that archaeologists will uncover some long buried manuscripts in Italy or somewhere else in the Mediterranean, and suddenly the world will be gifted back these priceless works. But now, with the advent of AI, there is another hope. I've been following a story recently where classicists, computer engineers, and AI experts have been teaming up to use AI to read the carbonized papyrus scrolls uncovered in Herculaneum. Herculaneum, if you don't know, is a smaller town near to Pompeii, which was also buried during Mount Vesuvius' eruption in 79 AD. 

These scrolls are too damaged to read or even to unroll. If you try to unroll them, they basically crumble into hundreds of little pieces, with many of the little pieces having multiple layers of the scrolls stuck to each other. So in other words, attempting to unroll and read the scrolls destroys them. In fact, they're truly carbonized, and in such a bad condition that the original workers who found the library supposedly thought the scrolls were coal and started burning some of them. That part of the story hurts. But for the roughly 2,000 scrolls that still exist, scientists have been able to utilize specialized CT scans to essentially digitally unroll the scrolls.

 When using AI, they were able to scan these digitally unrolled documents to find and decipher writing. This was very tricky and required AI because the ink used was carbon-based, so it wasn't at all visible on the CT scans since the whole scroll is carbonized. And using this method, they've been able to read some of these documents that would otherwise have been entirely lost to us. So this could be a very exciting time for finding lost historical documents from antiquity. What's more, the villa in Herculaneum, whose library they took these scrolls from, was once owned by Julius Caesar's father-in-law, Lucius Calpurnius Piso Caesoninus, or simply Calpurnius Piso, who actually got mentioned in this episode already.

 And just to drive home to you just how special this library is, to my understanding, it is the only intact library we have today from antiquity. And most of the documents we have from antiquity were copied over the centuries. But these scrolls are fresh from antiquity. As far as I know, no blockbuster finds have come out of this yet. Instead, they found a lot of philosophical works by a local Epicurean philosopher of the day named Philodemus, though Philodemus does give us details about Plato's burial that were previously unknown to us.

 And all this is just the beginning, and who knows what these new methods might uncover in the future. So that is hope for the future. But today, we are lucky that Plutarch and likely Suetonius did have access to Asinius Pollio's history of the civil war, and used it to help them write their histories of this pivotal event in human history. 

So with that in mind, let us get back to our narrative and to Caesar. Now that Caesar has determined that war is inevitable, he does everything he can to win said war.

 The first move he makes is to send some of his soldiers ahead with concealed weapons disguised as civilians to take the city of Ariminum, modern Rimini. This is a city just outside his province boundaries. He then orders the equivalent of four of his legions beyond the Alps to leave their winter quarters and join up with him as soon as they can. Caesar himself, knowing that the element of surprise is vital, spends his day, which is probably January 10th, in Ravenna, as if nothing is being planned and it's business as usual. And Caesar makes sure to do this very publicly.

 He attends some sort of public show. He spends some of the day watching the exercises of his gladiators and inspecting the plans of his school he was having built for them. Then, a little before evening, he bathes and dresses and attends a large banquet. After some time at this banquet, Caesar rises, makes some excuses to his fellow diners, telling them that he will soon be back, and then leaves the banquet. Outside, Caesar is joined by some of his officers.

 In secret, they depart Ravenna in a hired carriage. Suetonius tells us that the carriage was pulled by mules borrowed from a local baker's shop. Just a funny extra detail. Plutarch tells us Caesar had all of his friends or officers take different paths to disguise their destination. Caesar himself takes a road headed somewhere other than Ariminum and then, presumably once out of sight of Ravenna, turns back onto the road to Ariminum.

 And this is where our sources begin to diverge slightly. Suetonius tells us that amidst this most dramatic of events in world history, Caesar gets lost on his way to Ariminum. It's nighttime and Caesar has a small group traveling with him. As they make their way, Suetonius says Caesar's light goes out. Caesar and his comrades then wander around unfamiliar terrain in the dark all night long, looking for the right way to Ariminum, but never finding it.

 Not until dawn do Caesar and his comrades find a local guide. By taking them on foot along narrow paths, this guide is able to help them find the road to Ariminum. It's a funny story amidst all this high drama, but Suetonius is the only source who mentions it. 

Sometime in the early hours on January 11th, Caesar catches up with the 13th Legion, which was marching towards Ariminum on his orders. Together, Caesar and the 13th approach the Rubicon River. The boundary between Caesar's province of Cisalpine Gaul and Italy. Which river that is today, we don't know. Despite the great fame of the Rubicon, it has never been definitively identified. The Rubicon was not some major river, it was small, and its significance as a boundary was symbolic rather than physical. But it's still no small thing for a Roman proconsul to march his army out of his province and into Italy against a hostile Senate.

 And even a character as bold as Julius Caesar hesitates as he nears the Rubicon. Plutarch, basing his account on that of Asinius Pollio, Caesar's officer who was at the crossing with Caesar, says that Caesar began to slow his pace as they approached the river. When Caesar and his party finally arrive at the Rubicon, Caesar stops altogether. For a long time, he stands there, deep in thought, vacillating back and forth as to whether he should cross this barrier that, once crossed, can never be undone. The moment he crosses the Rubicon, he will forever be an outlaw, a public enemy, unless he wins the Civil War.

 And make no mistake, crossing the Rubicon means Civil War, Roman killing Roman. And Caesar is well aware of this. After silently debating with himself for some time, Caesar turns to his friends and officers, including Asinius Pollio, and for quite a while discusses with them the decision before him. He speaks of the great evils that will befall mankind if he crosses the Rubicon, and of what posterity will say of them for making that decision. 

Throughout his life, Caesar has always shown himself to be a gambler, specifically a man willing to gamble on himself. His entire career is based on this. From borrowing astronomical sums of money to climb the Cursus Honorum, to waging an illegal war in Gaul, Caesar has repeatedly gambled wildly on himself, and it has always worked out. And so Caesar, wrestling with the magnitude of this decision, and seemingly unable to wrap his mind around its full implications intellectually, puts aside calculations and, in a passion, decides to take the greatest gamble of his life. Uttering the immortal words, “The die is cast”, he forges ahead and crosses the Rubicon, followed by the 13th Legion. Of course, crossing the Rubicon isn't the only famous saying from this event in history.

 You will find “the die is cast” also quoted in movies, TV shows, books, and, of course, real life. It's a gambler's reference, referring to a die being thrown in a game of chance. And once the die is cast, there is no undoing the gamble, it has already been made, and all that's in doubt is the outcome. And though “the die is cast” is among the most famous of sayings even today, this is ancient history we're talking about, and like with so many things in antiquity, there are multiple conflicting accounts. And that's true even just for one given source.

 My copy of Plutarch's Lives has the translation as, “the die is cast”. Another translation has it as, “Let the die be cast”. Historian Adrian Goldsworthy says Plutarch quotes Caesar as saying this famous line in Greek, not Latin, saying, “Let the die be thrown”. This Goldsworthy writes was actually a quote from the poet Menander, which, if Plutarch is accurate, means Caesar himself was actually quoting someone else. 

And then we have our other sources. Appian gives a very similar story. He writes that Caesar stared at the Rubicon for a long time in silence, contemplating the evils of civil war that will follow if he crosses this boundary. Then turning to his friends, he says to them, “My friends, to leave this stream uncrossed will breed manifold distress for me; to cross it, for all mankind.” Then with a rush, Appian says he crossed the river, uttering, “The die is cast, so let it be!”

The final account we have of this historic crossing comes from Suetonius, and it's a memorable one to say the least.

 We have a tendency to see history and mythology as two distinct and separate categories. There are mythological stories about gods and goddesses, and then there is real history about true events. Of course, history is written by the victor, and always has a slant and can sometimes be outright false. As Napoleon once said, “History is a set of lies agreed upon.” But by and large, history usually references real events.

 But the further back in time you go, the more that clear line dividing mythology from history becomes blurry. And if you go all the way back to antiquity, you can sometimes find real history and mythology happening right alongside each other. Suetonius is one of our biographical sources for the life of Julius Caesar. We rely on him for many details of Caesar's life. And not just Caesar's life, but for the 11 emperors who follow him. Suetonius was also the imperial secretary for the emperor Hadrian. 

All of this is to say, he's a real historian of antiquity, and a serious person, not some joker. And yet, this historian, whose writings we rely on for so many events in ancient Rome, suddenly starts mixing in mythology when it comes to the crossing of the Rubicon. And he's not the only one. Plutarch will do this from time to time too. Not with the crossing of the Rubicon, but with other events for Plutarch. 

In Suetonius' account, Caesar arrives at the Rubicon and hesitates, just like in the other two accounts. He then turns to his friends and says, “We may still draw back, but once across that little bridge, we shall have to fight it out.” Caesar then stands there, unable to make up his mind, when suddenly, an apparition of superhuman size and beauty appears, sitting on the riverbank, playing a reed pipe. Some shepherds with the army gather to listen to the apparition play. Then some of Caesar's soldiers break ranks to join them. At this, the apparition snatches the trumpet of one of the soldiers, runs down to the river, blows a thunderous blast signaling war, and crosses. After seeing this, Caesar says, “Let us accept this as a sign from the gods and follow where they beckon, in vengeance on our double-dealing enemies. The die is cast.” Caesar then leads his army across the Rubicon.

 As Goldsworthy says, I doubt this supernatural anecdote came from Asinius Polio! Why did Suetonius think it was okay to just insert a mythological being into this real historical event? Well, I just chalked that up to antiquity. I guess Suetonius found this event in history to be so monumental that the sheer impact of it could not be truly conveyed to his ancient audience unless the gods themselves came down to take part. So there you have it, all three accounts of Caesar crossing the Rubicon which provide any detail.

 Plutarch seems the most reliable to me, but anyway around it, Caesar has made the greatest of gambles. The die is cast, and how this gamble will end is a mystery to all the participants. Back in Rome, Pompey and the Optimates are feeling as confident as ever. Pompey is certain that Caesar can't launch an attack. Caesar only has one legion on the Italian side of the Alps, not enough men to march on Rome or to launch any kind of serious offensive with.

 It's also the middle of winter, a time when it is difficult to keep an army in the field. And Pompey believes Caesar's soldiers are disaffected and won't fight for him. Meanwhile Pompey and the Optimates have the two veteran legions they took from Caesar and they are busy raising fresh troops all around Italy. Pompey is one of Rome's all-time great generals, at this point probably her greatest general of all time. So when he makes these claims to the Senate and the Optimates, he is believed.

 And so, many plans are made and built on the foundation that Caesar will not, or rather cannot attack. But clearly Pompey and the Optimates have not been studying Caesar's Gallic War campaigns like we have. If they had, they would know that rushing his enemies to take them by surprise is a regular move in Caesar's playbook. He's done it again and again in the Gallic Wars to great success. And he isn't afraid to do this even when heavily outnumbered.

 And during the Gallic Wars, Caesar has often mobilized his army during winter. And it seems hard to believe that an army that has served under Caesar for nine years and accomplished so much without even a hint of insubordination is now suddenly refusing to fight for Caesar. 

And so, in the early hours of January 11th, in the midst of winter, with only one likely understrength legion and 300 cavalry, Caesar, flying the face of all Pompey's bold claims, launches his offensive. To paraphrase the boxer Mike Tyson, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face”. Well, in crossing the Rubicon with one legion in the middle of winter, Caesar has just punched Pompey in the Optimates full in the face, and they are reeling from it.

All their grand plans are falling to pieces, and they are absolutely in shock. And Caesar's not giving them a moment to catch their breath. Ariminum, Ancona, Auximum, Ausculum. In rapid succession, they fall to Caesar. This is an ancient blitzkrieg down the Adriatic coast.

 And as news of this pours into Rome along with refugees, the people of Rome, including Pompey and the Senate, begin to panic. And they have good reason to panic. Virtually everyone believes that Caesar will be no different than Marius and Sulla. Many of the people of Rome remember the severed heads decorating the Rostra and the prescription list being posted in the forum. They remember the death squads sent out to hunt the prescribed and seize their property. In fact, many people likely lost friends and relatives to that civil war. So these people are under absolutely no illusions as to what a Roman civil war will look like. Pompey, after all, fought on Sulla's side in that civil war. 

So Caesar is rapidly advancing at a frightening pace, and something needs to be done. But being politicians, all the optimists can do is play the blame game. And the person who's being blamed the most is Pompey. As soon as news of Caesar's Rubicon crossing reaches Rome, senators and magistrates flock to Pompey. There, a senator named Tullus asks Pompey what kind of army they have to defend themselves against Caesar. After a long pause, Pompey timidly says that he has the two legions that came from Caesar and that he could quickly assemble 30,000 newly levied soldiers. Hearing this, Tullus replies, “Thou has deceived us Pompey!” Tullus is upset because Pompey has repeatedly led them to believe that Caesar would not be a threat, that he could be easily handled. What if my son hit me with a stick, he once had said. 

And now that Caesar has invaded, Pompey says that the only two experienced legions he has at his disposal are two legions that, until very recently, belonged to Caesar? You can't rely on these legions. They'll defect to Caesar the first chance they get. As for the 30,000 new recruits, these are untested green troops with no experience, and they aren't even assembled.

 Sure, 30,000 sounds like a great number, but not if you haven't even assembled them yet. Caesar's moving too fast. There's no shot Pompey will have time to gather these men to him. And even if he did, if they haven't been assembled, I can't imagine they'd been armed or trained yet. So Tullus is just now realizing how screwed they are, and he's furious at Pompey for pumping them all full of false confidence all this time.

 But the man who takes the prize for the best quip of this whole affair is a man named Favonius. Favonius is a friend of Cato. Plutarch describes him as aping Cato. Well, Favonius turns to Pompey and bids him to stomp upon the ground and call forth the forces he had promised. Pompey, of course, famously claimed that if Caesar were to march on Rome, all he, meaning Pompey, need do is stomp upon the earth to fill Italy with armies.

 So Favonius is telling him to go ahead then, stomp. And while this is very funny, and Pompey deserves this abuse for misleading the whole republic, none of this playing the blame game is at all helpful to their current crisis. But Pompey is just getting a taste of what's in store for him in the future. At this same meeting, Cato proposes Pompey be made general with absolute or unlimited power, saying that the same men who do great evils know best how to cure them. Talk about a backhanded compliment.

 I'm also not at all sure of the legality of this, but being elected general with unlimited powers in republican Rome doesn't exactly pass the smell test. Regardless, the consuls refuse to subordinate themselves to Pompey and the motion is rejected. But even still, here again we have this great irony, where to keep Caesar from becoming consul, a position he will use to gain for himself more power, Cato is trying to give Pompey unlimited power. 

And so, going forward, while Pompey will continue to be the generalissimo of the senate and the Optimates, he will not be able to command his fellow senators the way Caesar commands his army. And that is an important distinction when the men you are supposed to coordinate are a bunch of fractious, jealous, and petty senators who just can't stand to see any man raised above themselves.

 Well, as we said, Rome is in a panic, and refugees are flooding in which only causes more panic in the city. Plutarch tells us that this panic and this swelling of the population created such chaotic and almost anarchic conditions that even as refugees flooded into the city of Rome, many Romans began fleeing the city. 

At a later time, circa 75 AD, the Judean historian Josephus will write about the ceaseless training of the Roman army. To Josephus, it was as if the Romans were born weapons in hand. He writes that their drills were like bloodless battles, and their battles bloody drills.

 No one, and I mean NO ONE, understands that better than the Romans themselves. They know exactly how relentless and efficient and brutal their military is. And then of course, not all Roman armies are created equal. Caesar's army has spent nearly a decade in Gaul fighting year after year, campaign after campaign, battle after battle, all the while turning themselves into a deadly efficient killing machine. And the Romans have been extremely proud of them for this.

 They love how they've subjugated the northern barbarians and thus protected Rome. And so the thought of this army, these soldiers, being turned on the Romans themselves gives the Roman people nightmares. Hence all the refugees. 

In a letter to his friend Atticus on January 19th, Cicero writes, 

“WHAT in the world does it mean? What is going on? I'm quite in the dark.” He then quotes different rumors he's heard, “‘We are in occupation of Cingulum’, says some one; ‘We have lost Ancona.’ ‘Labienus has abandoned Caesar.’” He then gives his reaction to these rumors. He writes, “Are we talking of an imperator of the Roman people or of a Hannibal?” He next directs a tirade at Julius Caesar, writing, “Madman! Miserable wretch, that has never seen even a shadow of virtue! And he says he's doing all this ‘to support his honor’! How can there be any ‘honor’ where there is no moral right? Can it be morally right to have an army without commission from the state? To seize cities inhabited by one's fellow citizens, as a means of attacking one's own country? To be contriving abolition of debts, restoration of exiles, hundreds of other crimes?” 

And let's not take firsthand accounts like this for granted. This is not Plutarch or Suetonius or Appian writing over a century or two later. This isn't even Caesar writing about events a short time after they happened with an eye to influencing public opinion. No, Cicero is living this crisis and this letter was written in the midst of it. It's a private letter giving his raw reaction to events, and he never imagined it would become public. We are beyond lucky to still have such evidence from over 2,000 years ago. 

Now, many Romans may be in a panic at Caesar's ancient blitzkrieg, but this is not true of every Roman. Some are jubilant at Caesar's advance and are celebrating. And so you have citizens in terror, refugees flooding in causing more terror, and people celebrating. And all these groups are packed into the powder keg that is Rome at the best of times. Inevitably, the two groups start fighting, and even more chaos breaks out. The civil war is beginning in earnest.

 And at some point during all this chaos, a 13-year-old boy named Gaius Octavius is sent away from Rome to the countryside for his own safety. This boy is the grand-nephew of Julius Caesar, and he will one day be the first emperor of Rome, Augustus. 

As the chaos and strife continues in Rome, and Caesar's swift advance relentlessly rolls on, the senators and Optimates keep up a steady barrage of criticism on Pompey. Some, like Tullus, fault him for deceiving them as to the strength of their position and the weakness of Caesar's. Others blame him for not accepting any of Caesar's fair peace compromises. Others still blame him for having originally helped to make Caesar so strong. 

In the past, Cato had often told Pompey that in strengthening Caesar, he was raising Caesar up on his shoulders. And one day, Caesar would grow so heavy, that is, powerful, that even Pompey's broad shoulders would not be able to bear his weight. And when that happened, Pompey would no longer be strong enough to throw Caesar off his shoulders. And so, unable to bear Caesar's great weight, and no longer strong enough to throw him off his shoulders, the two of them would come tumbling down, crushing the Republic in their fall.

 And it seems that moment Cato warned Pompey about has finally arrived. Pompey and the Optimates have blinded themselves to this approaching reality for a long time now, Cato included, despite his warning. Their hate for Caesar has repeatedly blinded them from seeing how capable Caesar is and how powerful he's become. They've been living in a fantasy world in which Caesar was some misbehaving child who needed to be disciplined at all costs, and that doing so would be very doable. But Caesar's invasion and the subsequent panic has at least somewhat shaken them out of their fantasy world. Not entirely, but at least a little. 

And so, Plutarch tells us, Pompey, caught up in the tidal wave of fear around him coming from both the Senate and the people, joins them in their panic, and issues an edict recognizing a state of civil war, and abandons Rome, commanding the Senate to follow him. In fact, Pompey says that any senator that does not abandon the city with him will be considered a partisan of Caesar's. 

And so the senators begin to flee the city. But of course, in this atmosphere of fear, this is not an orderly evacuation. Senators grab whatever they can find of value of their own possessions and flee. Plutarch describes them as grabbing their own possessions in a frenzy as if they were stealing someone else's possessions. The consuls flee so quickly, they forget to do the necessary sacrifices to the gods. But far more practical and far more important to us, Pompey and the Optimates flee so quickly they leave behind the state treasury. That's the degree of all-consuming panic we're talking about here.

 As Caesar tells the story, the Senate had passed a decree for funds to be withdrawn from the treasury reserve for Pompey. Pompey had already fled Rome by this point, so the consul Lentulus goes and opens up the treasury. And after he opens it up, a wild rumor spreading through Rome reaches him that Caesar was on his way to Rome and would arrive within minutes. Lentulus freaks out and just immediately leaves Rome, abandoning the treasury. Meanwhile, Caesar is not arriving any minute. This is just another false rumor. So Lentulus abandoned the treasury for no reason at all. It's a terrible look for Pompey and the Optimates, especially since that money will likely now fall into Caesar's hands and, as everyone knows, wars are expensive. 

And if you're still not convinced as to how panic-stricken the people of Rome are, Plutarch tells us that some people who had been staunchly pro-Caesar nevertheless get so infected by the fear of those around them that they too flee the city, even though, as Caesar partisans, there was no reason to. 

And once again, there is a great irony in all of this. Pompey is issuing threats telling senators that if they do not abandon the city, he will consider them enemies. And Pompey is the one who, in Sulla's civil war, was nicknamed the Teenage Butcher or the Young Butcher. And yet, caught up in the tidal wave of fear, people are still fleeing to Pompey for protection from Caesar, who they fully expect to behave like Marius or Sulla or Cinna. But no one is fleeing from Pompey. And yet Caesar, the man so many people are afraid of, isn't threatening anyone. Yes, he's taken Ariminum, Ancona, Auximum, Ausculum, but all these cities have opened their gates to Caesar and his men without a fight. Thus far, it's been a bloodless invasion. 

When Caesar arrives at Ariminum, the men he sent ahead had already gotten there, and he takes the city without a fight. And this isn't surprising, and it should not have surprised the Optimates. Julius Caesar is a war hero multiple times over, and he's coming fresh off of nearly a decade of foreign conquest. There is nothing the Romans love, respect, and admire more than a conquering hero. And though these Italian peoples may not be Romans, they're still going to have a very similar mentality. They're proud of Caesar and his legionaries. They're grateful to them for putting down the barbarian threat from the north once and for all. Of course, they're not going to close their gates and start waging war on these men.

 They're also well aware of just how formidable Caesar's army is. Far better to throw open your gates and welcome these heroes rather than trying to go to war against them. And there are other reasons this invasion has been so peaceful. For one, Caesar is holding his soldiers on a very tight leash, and he's not allowing them to plunder or murder civilians or generally to run amok. This makes it so the civilians have no ill will against Caesar and his legions.

 Caesar is also demonstrating his forgiving nature in quite astounding ways. He's forgiving any and everyone who has taken sides against him. If you were an enemy of Marius or Sulla or Cinna during their civil war, and one of these guys appeared before your town with an army, you could expect the most horrific retribution to be rained down upon your head. And while that is very intimidating, it does not make any town or city more likely to open their gates to you. Caesar's leniency and his willingness to forgive and look past transgressions makes any town a lot more comfortable with throwing open their gates to him. They feel pretty confident he's not going to deliver some Old Testament-style wrath upon them or any of their citizens. 

And this forgiveness and leniency, this clemency, isn't just due to Caesar's nature. It's a very deliberate policy. We have the great good fortune of having a letter preserved from Caesar to his agents in Rome, Oppius and one of the Balbuses. Remember, there's two Balbuses, Balbus Major and Balbus Minor. Unclear which Balbus this is. But this is not an open letter meant for propaganda purposes. It was a private letter explaining his thinking and rationale for his policy of clemency. Caesar writes,

 “Let us see if in this way we can willingly gain the support of all, and gain a permanent victory, since through their cruelty others have been unable to escape hatred or make their victory lasting - save for Lucius Sulla, and I do not intend to imitate him. This is a new way of conquest, we grow strong through pity and generosity.” 

Ladies and gentlemen, this is radical stuff. In the year 49 BC, Caesar's talking about a new way of conquest. We grow strong through pity and generosity. This in an age where crucifixion is a common punishment, where slavery is endemic, and Old Testament-type wrath is the norm.

 Just a generation ago, Maurice and Sulla were killing their enemies left, right, and center without a drop of mercy. Mounting heads on the rostra and terrifying all those around them. Hell, Sulla even desecrated Maurice's remains after he died. This is not an age that knows anything about generosity and pity, especially not in the context of the Roman Civil War. And yet, here's Julius Caesar, the most powerful and capable man in the Republic, a man capable of great violence and destruction, and yet he's choosing to try to win this contest without shedding the blood of his countrymen. He doesn't want to cow people with blood and violence, he wants to win them over with mercy and forgiveness.

 I mean, you can read the history of antiquity, before this period and after this period, and I think you'd be hard-pressed to find any such sentiment expressed by a general leading an army. 

And outside the peaceful taking of Ariminum, I think the first major demonstration of this clemency comes when Caesar's right-hand man Labienus defects. He has his reasons for doing so. He may not have agreed with Caesar's decision to cross the Rubicon. He may have seen this as a betrayal of the Republic. He may even have been jealous and disillusioned with Caesar. He may have felt that Caesar didn't give him enough credit during the Gallic Wars, that Caesar hogged all the glory for himself. But the most likely reason is that Labienus is from Picenum, the ancestral home of Pompey. This means Labienus is likely a client of Pompey's and owes his loyalty to him. So when Caesar, his general, and Pompey, his patron, go to war, he has to choose between them. And choose he does. 

Regardless of Labienus's reasoning, Caesar allows this defection with no bad blood. What's more, not only does he allow Labienus to go join Pompey in peace, he even sends Labienus's baggage and money to him after he's defected, showing that there really is no bad blood. And this is a major boon for Pompey and the Optimates. It's a massive propaganda victory that Caesar's most trusted lieutenant in Gaul has defected. Plus, this is a man who knows Caesar's tactics and tendencies inside out. You couldn't ask for a better man to advise you on how best to fight Caesar. 

But though this is a major defection, it is the only defection. When Sulla marched on Rome, all of the senatorial officers save one resigned and left Sulla for Rome rather than marching on their own home city. When Caesar crosses the Rubicon, all but one senatorial officer remained loyal to Caesar and joined him in his crossing.

 This is a sign of the incredible loyalty Caesar inspires, but it's also a sign of how times have changed. When Sulla marched on Rome, it was an unheard of and unthinkable action. When Caesar crossed the Rubicon, the mental barrier has already been broken and armies have marched on Rome three times already. Marching on Rome is no longer the shock it once was. As Pompey often said, if Sulla could do it, why not I?

 Getting back to Caesar's advance, once in Ariminum, Caesar dispatches Marc Antony with five cohorts to take Arretium. Caesar himself stays in Ariminum with two cohorts and begins recruiting new soldiers from the local area. He also sends a cohort to Pisaurum, and another to Fanum, and another to Ancona. Caesar then learns of a town named Iguvium, which is strongly pro-Caesar, but is occupied by five Pompeian cohorts under command of a man named Thermus. Caesar is always quick to protect his allies, and so he sends Curio with three cohorts to Iguvium. If you've been doing the cohort math here, the three consisted of the two Caesar has with him at Ariminum and the one which he had sent to Pisaurum. 

Before Curio even arrives, Thermus decides the townspeople are just too pro-Caesar to be trusted, and decides to abandon Iguvium altogether. During this flight from Iguvium, Thermus' troops abandon him and all go home. As you can see, these fresh troops Pompey has raised sound good on paper, but they can't be trusted. They have no experience or loyalty to their commanders, no great emotional purpose or trust in each other and their superiors. Curio arrives at Iguvium, and the townspeople welcome him with open arms. 

After this, Caesar feels he can rely on the support of the Italian towns, and so he pulls his cohorts out of the towns they had occupied and marches on Auximum, further down the Adriatic coast. Auximum is in the region of Picenum, as is Ancona. Picenum is the ancestral homeland of Pompey, where he owns huge tracts of land and has many clients and supporters. So if there is a region in Italy where you'd expect the locals to be hostile to Caesar, it's here.

 Well, Auximum is being held for Pompey by a man named Attius Varus. Attius has an unknown number of cohorts and is busy recruiting additional men from around Picenum. But when the town council of Auximum hears of Caesar's approach, they go to Attius to speak with him. They tell him that they are not knowledgeable enough on the inner workings of Roman high politics to judge whose side they should take, Caesar or Pompey. That being said, they could not allow Caesar, a general who had served the state well and had so many great accomplishments to his name, to be shut out of their town.

 They then warn Attius to think of the future and his own danger, which sounds a bit like a mafia threat. This little speech spooks Attius and he takes his cohorts and flees Auximum. The detachment of Caesar's advance guard pursues them though and soon catches up with them. The green soldiers put up a small token resistance before giving up entirely. 

Some of the Pompeian soldiers then go home. Others decide to join up with Caesar. With them they bring their chief centurion, who was a veteran from Pompey's previous campaigns named Lucius Pupius. Now Pupius  is not there to join Caesar. He's apparently a prisoner of his own men, but Caesar, again demonstrating his mildness and clemency, commends the green legionaries, lets Pupius go, and thanks the town of Auximum, telling them he will not forget their service. As you can see, Caesar is moving through Italy at lightning speed and as he goes he's gobbling up Pompey's recruits like Pac-Man.

 All these men Pompey had been working so hard to recruit are just defecting to Caesar the second he confronts them, and so his forces grow larger and larger the further south he goes. And as Caesar moves through Picenum, he makes a point to mention in the commentaries that all the prefectures in the area welcomed him and provided his army with supplies of every kind. There's nothing quite like rubbing your rival's face in the fact that his own people are bending over backwards to help you. And Caesar's not done there. He also mentions that the town of Cingulum sent him a deputation and promised to show the utmost zeal in carrying out any commands he gives them.

 So Caesar asks them to provide soldiers and they duly oblige. Now the reason this is significant is because Cingulum is a town levy and is built at his own expense, which, in case anyone missed that point, Caesar specifically mentions in the commentaries. So you would expect these people to be hostile to Caesar, but here they are joining his army. Caesar may be conquering through pity and generosity, but he's not above rubbing some salt in his rival's wounds. 

At this point, the 12th legion catches up with Caesar. It's sometime in February, and these guys must have been absolutely booking it to cross the Alps and catch up to Caesar's blitzkrieg. So with his now two veteran legions and a steadily growing collection of raw recruits, Caesar continues his march through Picenum. Next stop is a town called Asculum. Asculum is being held by a man named Publius Cornelius Lentulus Spinther, who is commanding ten cohorts, which is the equivalent of one legion. All it takes is for Lentulus Spinther to hear of Caesar's approach and he takes off in flight, attempting to bring his ten cohorts with him.

 But most of his men soon desert him, apparently not impressed by the courage and fortitude of their commander. Caesar then marches into Asculum, again without any bloodshed. Caesar remains in Asculum for one day, gathering food and giving orders that the Pompeian deserters are to be found and brought into Caesar's army and a general levy begun. Caesar has never been one to worry too much about if he is allowed to raise additional troops. Throughout the Gallic Wars, if he had the physical ability, he repeatedly did so without any permission from the Senate, but he always kept it within reason so as not to alarm the Senate. Now that he's crossed the Rubicon and officially become an outlaw, all bets are off and he's recruiting at a rapid pace, thanks in large part to Pompey's efforts. 

Speaking of Pompey, the negotiations between him and Caesar have never stopped, even after Caesar crossed the Rubicon. The whole time Caesar is blitzkrieging his way down the Adriatic coast of Italy, messengers are going back and forth between Pompey and the Optimates and Caesar. When Caesar arrived at Ariminum, the first city he took after crossing the Rubicon, he was met there by young Lucius Julius Caesar, that is the son of Caesar's distant cousin, Lucius Julius Caesar, who has been serving with him in Gaul. Young Lucius Caesar brings with him a message from Pompey.

 This message is essentially that Caesar should put the Republic before himself, as Pompey himself does, and that Caesar should not be so angry with his enemies that he does harm to the Republic in an attempt to harm his enemies. The Praetor Roscius also shows up with pretty much the same message from Pompey. 

Now to Caesar, this whole appeal to putting the Republic before himself must feel a little rich when coming from Pompey, the man who has put himself above the norms of the Republic at every step in his life. And as for Caesar striking his enemies, Caesar makes the point in the commentaries that the only reason he has most of these enemies is because he allied himself through marriage with Pompey and got Pompey's legislation passed during his consulship. That is to say, the Optimates used to hate Pompey, he used to be their boogeyman.Caesar joined forces with Pompey and Crassus to force through the legislation they all wanted, and thus Pompey's enemies became Caesar's enemies. 

Then, when Caesar became a more menacing presence at the head of his veteran legions in Gaul, the Optimates began to try to cozy up to Pompey a little. Then, as the triumvirate began to fall apart, Pompey began to court the Optimates. The next thing you know, Pompey is allies with the Optimates and lecturing Caesar about not going after these enemies that Caesar incurred for the sake of Pompey. Or at least, that is how Caesar sees it or depicts it in his commentaries.

 Of course, Caesar had his own reasons for doing what he did during his consulship, it was not just for the benefit of Pompey. Namely, gaining a great military command for himself and leaving a lasting and impressive legacy of his time in the consulship, as well as helping the poor of Rome. 

Now, Caesar makes the point that these messages from Pompey make no attempt to “repair the wrongs done”, are his words. I think we can translate that as, none of Pompey's messages do anything to help resolve the crisis. There are no specifics, no terms, but at least the two sides are still talking, and that's big.

 So, Caesar sends back young Lucius Caesar and the Praetor Roscius with a message of his own to deliver to Pompey. In this message, Caesar again lays out his case of all the wrongs done to him and why he believes he's in the right. He then offers specific terms for peace. Pompey should go to his Spanish provinces. Caesar and Pompey should disband their legions. There should be a complete demobilization in Italy. Finally, he adds the terms that the regime of terror shall cease and that there should be free elections and Rome should return to the control of the Senate and people of Rome. 

That last condition is a reference to the Optimates, which Caesar has repeatedly painted as a clique within the Senate that has taken over control of the government for their own selfish purposes. As for the reign of terror and the free elections, Pompey is a pro-consul hovering outside of Rome while raising armies all over Italy, not exactly an environment that encourages dissent. 

In fact, Caesar writes of the climate in Rome that existed even before he crossed the Rubicon. He writes, 

“The city, the approach to the capital, and the Comitium were full of tribunes, centurions, and recalled veterans. All the friends of the consuls, all the adherents of Pompey and those with old grudges against Caesar were mustered in the Senate. Their numbers and the uproar they made intimidated the timorous, made up the minds of the waverers and robbed the majority of the power to decide freely.” 

As far as implementing any peace agreement, Caesar suggests that Pompey come to meet him in person or else allow Caesar to go to meet Pompey in person. Man to man, Caesar seems confident that he and Pompey can resolve their differences. But this request to meet Pompey in person will repeatedly be denied by Pompey, much to Caesar's frustration. Pompey is only a recent ally of the Optimates, and their relationship is shaky at best. Meanwhile, Pompey was allied with Caesar for almost a decade. In fact, they were family by marriage.

 If Pompey tells the Ultimates he's going to meet Caesar in person in a one-on-one meeting, it's going to cause a lot of insecurity in their already fraught relationship. It's a little like telling your new girlfriend you're going to go to dinner with your ex of almost a decade to work out some problems. That's not going to go down well. Especially since the Optimates don't really trust Pompey, and they think he might betray them if Caesar starts turning on that famous charm of his. 

In fact, Pompey himself might be fearful of this. He might know that Caesar is so convincing when met in person that it's better just to keep away from the man altogether if you're determined to fight him. And so Pompey will repeatedly refuse Caesar's offers to meet and negotiate in person. 

Well, Caesar's messengers leave Ariminum and find Pompey and the consuls down in the southeastern part of Italy at Teanum, in the region of Apulia, on January 23rd. Remember, they've fled Rome at this point. After discussing Caesar's terms, according to Cicero, Pompey and the consuls “accept”, I say in quotes, Caesar's terms.

 Caesar himself describes it more as a counteroffer. However you want to describe it, Pompey and the consuls say that Caesar should abandon Ariminum, return to Gaul, and disband his army. They say that once he has withdrawn north of the Rubicon, then they will return to Rome and discuss Caesar's terms. And if Caesar does this, then Pompey says he will go to his province in Spain. Until Caesar promises to do this, Pompey and the consuls will continue to levy troops in Italy.

 Caesar is not at all happy with these terms, which, I think it's fair to say, are not an acceptance of his terms, but a counteroffer. Essentially they are demanding that Caesar abandon the advantageous position he is in after launching his surprise invasion. And what does he get in return for this? Nothing really. They say they will discuss his terms. So he is abandoning his strategic position and getting nothing in return. Besides, he's already negotiated with the Senate while they were in Rome in the past, and it went nowhere every time, no matter what he offered. Why would it be any different this time around? 

Finally, there's the whole promise that Pompey will return to his province without giving a date. They've been down this road before. Pompey wants Caesar to take action immediately, while Pompey just promises to take action without giving a date by which he will do so. It's not clever, and Curio called Pompey out on this last time, and Caesar's not having it this time. And so, seeing that Pompey and the Optimates aren't serious about peace, Caesar continues his blitzkrieg. 

Getting back to that advance, Caesar's next stop is the town of Corfinium, and it's a serious obstacle in his way. There is a garrison of 20 cohorts, commanded by none other than Redbeard himself, Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus.

 Ahenobarbus, as we'll call him, you will remember, is Cato's brother-in-law, an arch-Optimate, and a passionate hater of Caesar. He is the man who feels Caesar's province of Transalpine Gaul is owed to him, since his ancestor settled the area. The Optimates even assigned the province to him after passing the ultimate decree, but so far, things aren't working out like Ahenobarbus expected. And Ahenobarbus is about to get reinforcements too. After Caesar chased Lentulus Spinther out of Asculum, Lentulus Spinther ran into a man named Vibullius Rufus, a Pompeian.

 Pompey himself had sent Vibullius to Picenum to ensure the loyalty of the locals there. Well, Vibullius, after hearing what's happening in Picenum, commandeers Lentulus Spinther's troops and rapidly begins collecting additional troops from around Picenum. These are soldiers Pompey had already levied, but had not yet gathered. He even gets lucky and catches a Pompeian commander fleeing Caesar's advance with his six cohorts and adds them to his force. Then Vibullius force-marches his now 13 cohorts to Corfinium and warns Ahenobarbus of Caesar's rapid approach. With these reinforcements, Ahenobarbus now has 33 cohorts or a little over 3 legions. 

As Caesar and his army approach Corfinium, about 3 miles out, they see 5 Pompeian cohorts breaking down the bridge over a river that runs between them and Corfinium. Now this isn't World War II, where you can wire a bridge to blow and demolish it last minute when the enemy gets close. This is antiquity, when demolishing a bridge takes time and back power. So before the Pompeian cohorts are able to finish the job, Caesar's advance guard appears.

 The Pompeian cohorts try to make a stand, but quickly end up retreating back to Corfinium. Caesar then crosses the river and his army makes camp by the walls of Corfinium. Inside Corfinium, Ahenobarbus is actually an energetic commander. By offering large rewards, he finds men with knowledge of Apulia, where Pompey currently is. Ahenobarbus sends these men with a message for Pompey, urgently requesting his help.

 He tells Pompey that, given the local terrain, two armies could easily hem Caesar in and cut him off from supplies. However, if Pompey does not come to their aid, Ahenobarbus tells him they will be in danger of losing over 30 cohorts, plus many equestrians and senators. With this plea for aid sent, Ahenobarbus then sets about giving encouraging speeches to his men, setting up what Caesar calls ballistic machines on the city walls and assigning specific duties for the defense of Corfinium. The ballistic machines, by the way, I imagine are ballistae, I believe is the plural, or scorpions. According to Caesar, Ahenobarbus also offers his men grants of land from his own holdings to encourage them, 25 acres ahead, even more for centurions and re-enlisted veterans.

 Speaking of Caesar, he soon receives an appeal for help from a nearby town called Sulmo. Sulmo is apparently heavily pro-Caesar, but they are garrisoned by 7 Pompeian cohorts. So Caesar dispatches Marc Antony to the town with 5 veteran cohorts of the 13th legion. As Caesar's legionary standards come into sight, not only do the people of Sulmo throw open the town gates and rush out to greet the soldiers, but the Pompeian troops rush out with them and also greet Caesar's troops. 

If you're a Pompeian, you have to have your head in your hand right now. None of these green soldiers can be relied upon to even attempt to fight. And why should they? They aren't defending their homes from foreign barbarian invaders. These are soldiers of the Roman Republic led by a Roman pro-consul, all of them heroes. 

Antony then takes these 7 Pompeian cohorts and brings them back to Caesar's camp that same day. Caesar incorporates them into his steadily growing army and releases their commander, who Antony had captured, again displaying his clemency. As the next few days pass, Caesar has his men constructing large defense works around his camp and gathering supplies from the nearby area. This may seem like a laid back move for Caesar, we're used to him moving at incredible speeds, but in this case, Caesar is waiting for something. 

After three days, the 8th legion arrives along with the 22 newly raised cohorts from Transalpine Gaul and 300 cavalry from the King of Noricum. This means Caesar now has 3 veteran legions plus the equivalent of a little over 2 green legions and 600 cavalry.

 The first thing Caesar does is build a new camp on the far side of Corfinium so that he now surrounds the town on two sides. He puts Curio in charge of the second camp. He then sets his men to putting Corfinium under siege by constructing earthworks and redoubts around the town. If the soldiers inside Corfinium know anything about the Battle of Alesia, and they almost certainly do, then they must know that this is a very bad position to be in. But Ahenobarbus is holding out hope that Pompey will come to his rescue.

 Well, just before these siege works are complete, Pompey's return messenger arrives and makes it through Caesar's lines. Ahenobarbus reads the message and then calls a council of his officers. At this council, he announces the great news that Pompey will be arriving soon to save them. He urges them to keep up their spirits and to do everything they can to defend the town. 

Ahenobarbus then calls a second, secret conference. This time, only his friends are invited. To them, he tells the truth of what the message really said. Pompey said in the message that he certainly wasn't going to put his entire cause at jeopardy to save Ahenobarbus, especially since Ahenobarbus had not asked Pompey's advice or consent in going to Corfinium. In other words, Pompey is saying he isn't going to let Ahenobarbus' rash actions dictate the strategy of the war. That's the tail wagging the dog. Instead, Pompey tells him that, if he gets the chance, he should take all of his forces and head south to join Pompey, rather than making a pointless stand against Caesar. 

So at this secret meeting of his friends, what is Ahenobarbus' solution to this difficult situation he finds himself in? Well, he tells his friends it's time to secretly escape and leave their soldiers behind. That's Ahenobarbus' big plan. Only he's not as good a liar as he thinks he is. His troops notice pretty quickly that his whole demeanor is different. He's become much more anxious and fearful. On top of this, Ahenobarbus begins avoiding meetings with his officers or assemblies of his troops, and instead is increasingly spending time talking to his friends privately. This is unusual behavior for him. And so, pretty quickly, the soldiers figure out the truth.

 And one evening they begin meeting in small groups to discuss this new revelation and to decide what to do. In these discussions, they say that Caesar's siege works have almost completely surrounded them, and yet they've faithfully stood by their commander and had confidence in him. Despite this, now they find out he's secretly planning to run away and abandon them? Well, it's pretty clear he's only looking out for himself, so it's best if they also look out for themselves. 

But, if there is one thing I've learned from studying history, it's that no group is a monolith. Take any group in history, or in the present day, and if you look closer you will see it is made up of several subgroups, factions, or cliques. And if you look closer at any of those groups, you will see they too have factions and cliques and subgroups. And it's no different in the case of Ahenobarbus's army. Not all of these soldiers are from the same regions of Italy. Some are from Alba. Some are of the Marsi. Some are of the Paeligni. Others are from districts surrounding these. 

Well, the Marsi troops haven't heard the rumors that Ahenobarbus is preparing to abandon them. On top of this, they have a strong connection with Ahenobarbus due to his family estates in their region. So when the rest of the army tells them Ahenobarbus is planning to flee and abandon them, they don't believe it. The Marsi see this as mutiny plain and simple, and so they seize the high ground in the town in preparation of a fight. And things continue to escalate until the disagreement almost does come to battle. But fortunately for the soldiers, the two sides continue to communicate, and messengers are sent to the Marsi that are finally able to convince them that Ahenobarbus does plan to abandon them. 

So now, with the whole army united against their commander, they immediately go and seize Ahenobarbus and put him under guard. They then send a deputation to Caesar, offering to throw open their gates, take orders from Caesar, and hand over Ahenobarbus alive to Caesar. After receiving this deputation, Caesar's a happy man, but he foresees some problems. He knows it's essential to seize Corfinium and to absorb Ahenobarbus' army as soon as possible. Any delay could allow Ahenobarbus to bribe his way out of this position, or his soldiers might begin to feel shame for what they are doing and so change their minds. Or they might hear some false rumor that could also change their minds.

 So for all of these reasons, Caesar needs to take this city and these legions right away. However, he also knows the psychology of his soldiers well, and he knows that if he sends troops into Corfinium at night, the cover of darkness is going to encourage looting. And because of this, he is hesitant to send his soldiers in right away. His goal is to win the hearts and minds of Romans and Italians alike, and thus far, he's done a great job of this. But if his troops run wild in Corfinium and start looting and God knows what else, all prior restraint Caesar has shown will be forgotten, and it won't matter whether Caesar ordered the looting or not.

 And looking back to the Gallic Wars for a minute, we've seen Caesar face this problem before, when the Aduatuci surrendered to him back in episode 38. So it's a problem Caesar has experience with. In this case, Caesar orders the delegation from Corfinium to go back to the city and to post guards. Funny how Caesar's giving them orders already. He then orders his own troops to line up along the siege works surrounding Corfinium that night.

 But rather than placing them at intervals as he would normally do, he instead has them line up in a continuous line of soldiers surrounding the entirety of Corfinium, each soldier within touching distance of the man to his left and right. This means that the entire town is surrounded and there are zero gaps. And the reason for doing this is to prevent anyone, cough cough Ahenobarbus and his friends, from making a midnight escape. And Caesar gives his soldiers specific orders to this effect, that they are to watch for sallies out of the town by soldiers and for stealthy individuals looking to escape. Caesar tells us his troops were fully engaged in this task.

 They all believed the outcome of this siege could be decided that night, so none of them neglected his duty and fell asleep. Back in Corfinium, Ahenobarbus is in a sort of panic. His soldiers plan to hand him over to Caesar. In the last civil war, everyone knows what it meant to be handed over to Marius or Cinna or Sulla. That was the hour of your death. Those men did not forgive their enemies. You could expect your severed head to make an appearance on the rostra. 

So Plutarch tells us Ahenobarbus ordered his physician, who is also his slave, so interesting combo there, but he orders this man to make up a draft of poison for him so that he can kill himself rather than allowing Caesar to do so. The physician makes a draft for him and Ahenobarbus drinks it. Around that time, as dawn nears, Lentulus Spinther calls down from the walls that he wants an interview with Caesar.

 Lentulus Spinther, you'll remember, is the man Caesar chased out of Asculum. After that, he had fled to Corfinium. Caesar grants this request and the soldiers in Corfinium leave Lentulus  Spinther to Caesar and Caesar tells us they would not leave him until they had conducted him into Caesar's very presence. I guess they were afraid that their valuable prisoner would pull a fast one on them and escape. 

Well, according to Caesar, Lentulus Spinther begins pleading and begging for his life. He even reminds Caesar that they had been friends in the past and that Caesar had done many services on his behalf. I'm not sure if this is the best tactic to remind your enemy of all they've done for you rather than the other way around. In the commentaries, Caesar even lists these services, getting him into the College of Pontus, helping secure one of the Spanish provinces for him after his praetorship, and aiding him in running for the consulship. But very quickly as Lentulus Spinther starts begging and pleading, Caesar interrupts him and says, 

“I did not leave my province with intent to harm anybody. I merely want to protect myself against the slanders of my enemies, to restore to the rightful position the tribunes of the people who have been expelled because of their involvement in my cause, and to reclaim for myself and for the Roman people independence from the domination of a small clique.”

 I'm sure you guys need no reminder by now, but the small clique dominating the Republic Caesar refers to is, of course, the Optimates. Lentulus Spinther is greatly encouraged by this, and I imagine more than a little shocked. The difference between how Marius and Sulla had treated their enemies and the sentiments Caesar just expressed in that quote are night and day. Lentulus Spinther then asks to be allowed to return to Corfinium. He says some in the town have been so terrified they are considering violence against themselves. I imagine Ahenobarbus is one of the men he's referring to. Caesar grants his permission, and soon Ahenobarbus, who hasn't died yet, learns that Caesar is not planning on killing any of them. Ahenobarbus starts lamenting that he had been so impulsive as to drink poison already, but his physician tells him to cheer up. He had only served Ahenobarbus a sleeping potion rather than poison. Ahenobarbus is overjoyed at hearing this, and while we aren't told the fate of his slave doctor, I really hope he had the decency to free that man, but I wouldn't count on it. 

At dawn on roughly February 21st, Caesar summons from Corfinium all of the senators, their families, the military tribunes, and the equestrians. In total, 50 senators and equestrians come forward from Corfinium. Apparently on their way to Caesar, this illustrious group is verbally abused by Caesar's soldiers, who jeer at them and call out insults. Caesar says he soon protected them from this sort of abuse.

 Now the whole group is before Caesar, and it is quite the haul. Ahenobarbus is, after all, an arch-Optimate and the brother-in-law of Cato. But rather than taking these people as hostages or prisoners, and rather than killing them, Caesar simply makes a brief comment to them that he had received no thanks from them for the great benefits he had bestowed upon them. With that, he sets them all free. No strings attached.

 No oaths not to fight against him. No oaths to sit out the war or to fight on his side. They are simply free to go as they please. Soon the local magistrates of Corfinium bring out six million sesterces that Ahenobarbus had brought to Corfinium, and they hand this money over to Caesar. Caesar tells us he was well aware that this was public money, given by Pompey to Ahenobarbus to pay his troops in fighting against Caesar.

 Probably beyond the wildest dreams of Ahenobarbus, Caesar hands this money over to him to take with him. Caesar writes that he did this to show he had as little eagerness to take money as to take human life. Again, this is a radical sentiment to be expressed in an age that saw Crassus crucify 6,000 slaves along the Via Appia, stretching from Rome to Capua. Life was cheap in the Roman world, and conquerors were known for plundering, not preserving the wealth of their enemies. 

That same day, Caesar has Ahenobarbus' troops take an oath to himself, thus adding the equivalent of three additional legions to his army. He then marches onward with his ancient blitzkrieg. In total, the events at Corfinium had taken only seven days. Caesar and his army even managed to get a full day's march in the same morning he takes Corfinium. 

Now, Caesar's clemency and peaceful intentions had already been demonstrated. At Ariminum, when he first crossed the Rubicon, he didn't kill anyone there, nor did he allow his troops to plunder. Or when his right-hand man Labienus chose to defect, Caesar allowed him to join Pompey and the Optimates, no problem. He even sent his personal belongings and money on to join him. 

But information spreads slow in the ancient world, particularly when Caesar is moving faster than the information can spread, and rumors are rampant. So for most of Caesar's advance thus far, the majority of people are not aware of his clemency. They simply assume he will behave like his uncle Marius, or his father-in-law Cinna, or, of course, Sulla.

 Corfinium is what changes that. It's such a dramatic act of clemency that it can't be overlooked. It's shocking to the Roman world, and thus it grabs their attention. Caesar isn't who they thought he was. This invasion isn't what they thought it was.

 Corfinium becomes famous in the history of the Civil War for putting the Roman world on notice of Caesar's clemency. Putting them on notice that Caesar is different than your average conqueror, and, just perhaps, not the boogeyman they thought he was. As such, Corfinium is not just a military victory, it's a propaganda victory. And while Caesar may have hoped that these pardoned enemies of his would feel obligated to join his side, or at the very least to stay neutral, he will be very disappointed.  Ahenobarbus immediately goes back to waging war against Caesar, and Lentulus Spinther will eventually do the same.

 It seems Caesar was right in accusing them of lacking gratitude. Though it might not be quite accurate that Caesar will be disappointed by their decision. About a month after Corfinium, Caesar will write to Cicero about his policy of clemency, saying, 

“Nor am I shaken by the fact that those who were allowed to go free by me are said to have departed with the intention of renewing war against me: for there is nothing I like better than that I should be what I am, they what the are.”

In other words, Caesar is happy to show the world that he is a merciful person who wants peace, while they show the world that they are ungrateful, petty individuals intent on war. 

And with that, we close our first episode on the Civil War, bloodless as it has been so far, it will not remain bloodless. Whether it was the crossing of the Rubicon, or the passing of the ultimate decree, the Roman world has been launched into something that more closely resembles an ancient world war than a civil war. This ancient world war will be fought across three continents, in the modern countries of Italy, France, Spain, Albania, Greece, Egypt, Turkey, Tunisia, Algeria, and potentially one other unnamed Balkan country. And this war won't just involve Romans. Kingdoms and tribes from all over the Mediterranean will be dragged into it, or will try to take advantage of it, and thus involve themselves in the fray.

 And in many ways, civil war is in the very bones of the Romans. You might even say civil war has always been their destiny. After all, their founding myth has brother fighting brother. Even as Romulus founded Rome, he quarreled with his twin brother Remus, and in the end struck down and killed his brother. Almost as if to remind the Romans that fratricide, that civil strife, that civil war, is in their DNA.

 That it's a temptation unavoidable for them. A temptation that Caesar and Pompey and the rest have given into. And though it seems Caesar has the advantage so far with his veteran legions, this is somewhat of an illusion. In the particular moment that Caesar decided to cross the Rubicon, he had a relative advantage in that theater of Italy, but only if he moved rapidly. But looking at the conflict in its totality, Caesar has taken on a war where he is at a massive disadvantage.

 Pompey has 7 legions in Spain, a region of the empire where he holds huge numbers of clients and friends due to his war there against Quintus Sertorius when he was a young man. He has even more clients and friends in the East from fighting the Mithridatic War. The entire kingdoms are his clients, and he can call on them to provide troops, money, supplies, food, and ships at his beck and call. Pompey also has complete mastery of the sea, which makes moving troops and supplies around the Mediterranean exceedingly difficult for Caesar. Finally, Pompey has the moral and legal authority that comes with the support of the vast majority of Roman senators, something which should not be underestimated in the propaganda war.

 Caesar for his part has his irreplaceable veteran legions and his ever-growing army, thanks in large part to Pompey's recruiting efforts. He has the support of Gallic cavalry and also has some clients and friends in Spain. And Caesar has Rome herself, which conveys huge amounts of legitimacy on the whole there, less so without a Senate, but then again a Senate not in Rome is itself a government in exile. And finally, perhaps most importantly of all, Caesar has his own genius and relentless energy to rely on. 

Even still, this civil war will be a difficult and unlikely undertaking. If Caesar had died after the Gallic Wars, there would always be those who look back on his campaigns and say, ah, but he fought against disorganized barbarians with inferior technology. In other words, he made his name against weaker opponents. But now, Caesar and his famous legions will pit themselves against other Roman legions with all the same technology and training commanded by perhaps Rome's greatest general ever up to now. It is a struggle that will repeatedly push Caesar and his army to their limits. But then of course, that's always when they're at their best.

 In our next episode, Caesar will pursue Pompey to the port city of Brundisium. And there will take place the first spectacular engineering battle of this war. It will not be the last. And that is where we'll end our episode today. 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the March of History.

 I hope you will forgive me for the egregious crime of leaving you all hanging just before crossing the Rubicon. Unfortunately, it couldn't be helped. But let me say that in addition to this episode, I've also put out a re-recorded version of episodes 1A and 1B. I think they are a much better telling of the story of Marius and Sulla and of Julius Caesar's youth. And even if you know the story of Marius and Sulla's feud already, you haven't heard it quite like this.

 I dived deep on my research for these episodes, and there is almost certainly something in them that you haven't heard before. After all, together, they are five hours long. So along with this episode, which hasn't been edited yet, that's probably about six and a half or seven hours of content for you guys to binge. So I hope that at least a little bit makes up for the long hiatus. Plus, there are so many parallels between the civil war that broke out between Marius and Sulla and the civil war that's broken out in this episode between Caesar, Pompey, and the Optimates.

 And it's interesting to contrast the differences too. After all, many of the people in our story lived through both of these tumultuous periods. And it's really informative to go back and remind yourself of what they went through back then to get a better understanding of their frame of reference for the current civil war. 

Now, with all that said, I'd like to tell you the story behind why I had to take almost a year and a half break from this podcast. And I understand this may seem like oversharing to some, but I promise there is a good reason for it. Telling my story may help others. 

Well, I have been going through quite the health crisis for a number of years now. And before I begin my story, I want to make it clear that I am not a doctor and I am not offering any medical advice. All I am doing is telling my own story, something I have a right to do. So hopefully, fingers crossed, this doesn't get censored.

 As you guys know, I moved to Spain in September of 2020 to teach English as I worked on this podcast. It was in the midst of the pandemic and it was a wild experience. I remember the plane from JFK to Madrid was nearly empty. Well, about six months after I arrived, they started rolling out “jabs” in Spain. They didn't give us any options on the ‘jab” in Andalusia. It was “specific brand” or nothing.

 And you needed the “jab” in Europe to travel or go to restaurants, etc. So on March 3rd of 2021, I got the “specific brand jab” and wow, I got sick. I woke up in the middle of the night shivering and shaking uncontrollably. I had a fever. I had chills. I had body aches.

 And that all probably lasted for about four days. But then I got better. You actually you might remember I even made a podcast episode about this. In episode 34, I talked about how it gave me a new appreciation for the strength of personality Caesar had to be suffering from malaria and yet still managed to summon the right words and say them in the right way to convince a death squad hunting him to take a bribe and let him be. Well, little did I know when I recorded that episode, but that “jab” had already begun to set my health on a tailspin.

 My first clue came just days after I got better from the initial sickness or immune response that the “jab” gave me. After I got better, I took a few more days off to recover and then I got back to my normal workouts. But right away, I started noticing some strange things happening. I went for a run and I felt fine while running, but afterwards I noticed that my knees were all red and a little swollen. The next couple of days they were stiff and painful going up and down stairs. This happened to me every time I ran, and at the time I couldn't figure out why.

 I hadn't even connected it to the “jab” in my head yet. And it wasn't just running. When I did ab workouts, my lower back would hurt the next day and for multiple days after that, and not a soreness, but it would hurt as if I had strained my back. And when I did pushups, my elbows started giving me problems. I started getting nerve pain down my arms.

 My deltoids started acting up and giving me pain. Now, like I said, I didn't immediately connect any of these things to the “jab”. I didn't even think anything was wrong with me. I just thought I had rushed back into my workouts too quickly after being sick. So I took another week off and then started up on my routines again.

 Same results. Now I'm getting a little confused. I've always been injury prone, though, so I've learned the hard way to be abundantly cautious with my body. So I took two more weeks off and then tried to get back to my workouts yet again. And the same result.

 At this point, I still don't know what to think of all this. Pretty much the only exercise I could do without joint pain was walking and biking. Meanwhile, I had a lot of other strange problems going on with my body at the same time. I was starting to get rashes on the back of my hands and on my face. The dermatologist would give me a cream and it'd go away just to come right back when I stopped the cream.

 I didn't connect this in my mind to joint pain at all. To me, these were like separate problems that had nothing to do with each other. Then there were all sorts of strange things that started happening with my body that often started so subtle I didn't even notice them at first. And when I did notice them, I certainly didn't think that they were signs of any greater health issue. Well, luckily, thanks to the Nike Run app, which does not sponsor this podcast yet, you never know what the future holds.

 But thanks to this app, I was able to look back to the date of that first run where my knees started acting up. And lo and behold, that was the very first run I went on post-“jab”. Now this was a revelation to me. I still hadn't connected the “jab” to all of these health issues, and at this point it's probably sometime in May of 2021. And then I started to realize that a lot of the other health issues I was having also started around that time of the “jab”.

 In fact, I could circle the date on my calendar and see that beforehand I didn't have most of these things, and afterwards the elbow pain, the back pain, the joint pain, the rashes, and so much more had begun. Well, I figured, alright, so it's probably the “jab” that caused it, but there's really not much I can do about it. So I figured I would just let it rest, and eventually these problems would go away. Boy was I wrong. Things did not get better over time.

 They got worse. A lot worse. As time went on during my time in Spain, my joints never improved. In fact, they got worse, and new joints started acting up. One day when I was standing in the airport of Santiago de Compostela, the ball of my right foot started giving me a lot of pain when I walked, to the point where I had to limp to walk.

 And this came out of nowhere. There was no injury, no trauma to the area of my foot. It was just, I mean, I was standing there in the airport, and I had a heavy backpack on my back, and that's the extent of the cause. And that injury still bothers me today. Even today I can only walk about 30 minutes before that injury starts flaring up, and that started years ago in Spain.

 Meanwhile, I started having insomnia, which progressively got worse until I was barely sleeping during my time in Valencia. And even outside of not sleeping, my energy levels were just not what they used to be, and I found I couldn't work as hard as I typically expected of myself. I got stressed very easily, and tired very easily. And my digestion was screwy too. Food would just sit in my stomach for ages, and like all these issues, it gradually got worse and worse over time, and eventually it got to the point where, if I ate lunch and just skipped dinner, by the time I went to bed that night, my stomach would still be full of food as if I had just eaten that meal only, I don't know, like an hour ago.

 And then, there was my mental health. I started having anxiety and depression like you wouldn't believe, and it was this strange juxtaposition of living this life in Spain, exploring Europe, and doing my podcast, all of which I loved, and yet, most days feeling awful mentally. And it didn't make any sense to me then, and I just couldn't explain it. I thought about it a lot, and I didn't understand why I felt this way, despite living a life that I should be loving and did love. Then I caught “the virus” in June of 2022, and the experience was very similar to when I got the “jab”, and had that bad reaction.

 A few months later, I returned to the U.S. And gradually, at first, over the next six months of living in the U.S., all of my symptoms got worse, and I developed new symptoms. My face started breaking out in hives when I ate certain foods, and I'm not talking exotic foods or foods that typically cause allergies like shellfish. These were simple foods, foods I'd never had issues with, like oatmeal. And my mental health continued to get worse, and it felt, honestly, the only way to describe it is it felt like I was living in a hellscape.

 Then from January 2023 to June of that year, things started to get scary. All my existing symptoms, the joint pain, the rashes, the reactions to food, the insomnia, the heart palpitations, all became worse, and my face was covered in hives. And new symptoms began to develop. I lost about 20 to 25 pounds inexplicably. And I'm a pretty thin guy, I didn't have 20 pounds to lose.

 And no matter how much I ate, I just couldn't gain any of that weight back, and I still haven't gained any of that weight back. Then, I started to feel a shaking sensation in my hands. I don't know how to explain it, my hands weren't shaky, but they felt shaky for about a week or so. And then one day, as I was typing up my outline for episode 66, I found I was having a hard time typing. And I didn't understand why I was having a hard time typing, so I took my left hand away from the keyboard and held it up, and now it actually was shaking.

 I checked my right hand, and the same thing. Let me tell you, when you're having inexplicable health problems, and then your hands suddenly start shaking, there is nothing positive that goes through your mind. There are no mild diseases I know of that involve shaking hands. That was scary. And to top it all off, I started having issues with my voice.

 While trying to record episodes, my voice kept continually cracking or just disappearing on me mid-sentence. I mean, I would be mid-sentence, and then my voice would just cut out. And it would be a complete surprise to me, it's not like I could feel it coming or anything, it would just cut out on me and just disappear mid-sentence. My voice became weak and shaky. And again, I couldn't account for any of this.

 Why was all this happening? I mean, at this point, it seemed clear that the “jab” had kicked some latent health issues into high gear, but that's far from a diagnosis. And so, as we approached the Rubicon episode, I found myself developing new health issues all the time, and my existing health issues getting worse, and the speed of progression was itself speeding up. That is to say, the speed at which things were getting worse was speeding up. And I was going to doctor after doctor, and none of them were any help.

 And I promise you I'm not being dramatic when I tell you, I began to think I might just be dying. I might be in the process of dying from some undiagnosed illness, since my health continues to get worse, and it's getting worse at an ever faster pace. No doctors can help me. My hands are shaking. I'm losing weight.

 Or at the very least, I might not have anywhere near as long a life as I thought I might have. And it was at this point, with my health deteriorating, and no doctors having any answers, and with my voice so bad, I really, I couldn't record any episodes, that I said, I just need to put the podcast on hold and just do a deep dive on trying to figure out a solution to my health crisis. Because clearly, it's not getting better on its own, in fact it's getting worse, and can't be ignored any longer. I hated to leave you guys hanging right before the crossing of the Rubicon, but without our health, we have nothing, so it had to be done. So I took a break from the podcast, and I started doing research and going to doctors.

 Endless appointments with doctors. I saw GPs, internists, cardiologists, rheumatologists, allergists, endocrinologists, dermatologists, chiropractors, an orthopedic surgeon, a podiatrist, a hepatologist, a pulmonologist, a gastroenterologist, an ophthalmologist, an ENT, a laryngologist. I went to physical therapy for my joints. I went to speech pathology for my voice. I tried acupuncture.

 I even tried going to naturopaths and homeopaths. I got ultrasounds, x-rays, MRIs, an upper endoscopy, a CT scan, a cortisone shot, endless blood labs, and of course, just much more I won't even go into. And yet, 99% of these visits were useless. The doctors had no idea what was causing all my health issues, and had no interest in getting to the bottom of the mystery. They only wanted patients whose problems were easy layups.

 Oh, you have a sore throat? Here's an antibiotic. That sort of thing. They didn't want to be bothered with trying to find a solution to a complex case like mine. And I mean truly, they couldn't be bothered.

 People told me internists are the detectives of the medical world. Well, I went to two. One of them gave me a hard time about my low BMI as if the weight loss was somehow my own doing. And the other just walked out of the room without any kind of verdict whatsoever. And when I tracked that doctor down on my way out to press him to give me some kind of answer, or at least give me some direction on where to move forward to, he told me, “Well, you look fine”.

 I was like, you're saying I passed the eyeball test? That's what you're saying? And all these specialists only wanted to focus on their little niche, as if the human body isn't all connected. And if you start mentioning symptoms that they think don't pertain to their specialty, they get this look on their face like you're oversharing or being neurotic somehow. Because insomnia and skin rashes can't possibly be connected in any way.

 Well, after this endless search for an answer, I finally found one by luck. A friend of my mother's friend had two daughters who had similar health problems to mine, and they had seen a cardiologist who was able to help them. At this point, I'm desperate, so I'll try anything to make an appointment with this man. But of course, he's so in demand that I had to wait months for the actual appointment to come around. The appointment day finally does come, and I walk into the doctor's office, and I'm blown away.

 This man has busts of great historical figures everywhere. He has busts of Augustus, Napoleon, Socrates, Da Vinci, Ben Franklin, Abe Lincoln, Homer, and the Pope. But what most caught my attention is that he had a bust of Julius Caesar himself in the waiting room. Now, I'm not typically a believer in signs, but come on, man, what are the odds of that? Anyway, this cardiologist ends up diagnosing me with something called dysautonomia.

 It is a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. He said I may have had it at a low level even before getting the “jab”, but obviously the issue skyrocketed after getting the “jab”, and maybe even got worse after I got “the virus” before coming back to the US. If you remember back to your anatomy and physiology classes, the autonomic nervous system controls everything your body does that you don't need to think about. And the harder you think about this, the more functions you will realize are controlled by this system. It controls your immune system, digestion, your heart rate, all of your organs.

 It controls when your pupils dilate in the dark or constrict in the light, and just so much more. So you can imagine all of the things that can go wrong with the human body if this system becomes unbalanced which mine was. It can cause the insomnia, the chronic fatigue syndrome, the rashes, the heart palpitations. It even causes anxiety and depression because your immune system starts flooding you with inflammatory chemicals, and your brain doesn't get enough blood flow. But of course, none of the doctors I had seen previously were willing to look at the body systemically.

 They just wanted to look at their little piece of the body and cover up what were basically symptoms of this dysautonomia with some kind of medication, rather than getting to the root of the problem. And I'm told this dysautonomia can be caused by an over-aggressive immune response to a “jab” or by catching a virus like “the virus” which turns into long “the virus” and causes dysautonomia. This virus in particular, I am told, causes this dysautonomia more than most viruses. Which is why I bring all of this up. 

Yes, I want to give you guys an update on my health and explain why I had to take so much time off. But also, I know I'm not the only person suffering from these kinds of health issues. In talking to family and friends, I meet people all the time who have, in the past few years, developed a myriad of health issues that their doctors simply aren't able to help them with. And having been a frustrated and sick individual searching desperately for answers and just hitting dead ends in every direction, I think hearing my story could help some of those people. I know it would have helped me. 

And I'll reiterate, I am not a doctor, I hold no medical degrees, and I am not offering any medical advice. All I can do is tell you my story. 

Getting back to my health story, my doctors put me on a regimen to rebalance my autonomic nervous system, but it's a process. It takes anywhere from six months to two years. And while I've seen a little bit of improvement, I'm still very far from 100%. But at least now it feels like things are no longer spiraling out of control and getting worse. The problem is being treated, it just takes time. So this has freed up enough of my time so that I can get back to doing this podcast. That and my voice has improved, though it's still not 100%. 

So going forward, at least for the time being, I'll be putting out one episode a month. My hope is that in the future I will continue to improve and I can get back to the normal schedule again.

 And I do have full confidence that I can get back to 100% again, despite what various pessimistic doctors may say. But right now, I still have loads of doctor's appointments and tests that take up a lot of my time. And, of course, I don't have my normal levels of energy to begin with, so one episode a month is all I can do for now. And one of the reasons I still have so many appointments is because there are still some mysteries, like the joint pain, which still hasn't improved. I was recently referred to a top rheumatologist who had what I would call Roman Senator levels of arrogance.

 Just arrogance that you wouldn't believe. And within a minute of walking into the room, this man was claiming I had osteoarthritis at 31 years of age. He said I had tendinitis, maybe some kind of inflammatory condition. He said maybe my spine was fused, and he listed a whole bunch of not very fun health problems I could expect in my future, and put the fear of God into me. That was in early June of this year, and I had to spend all summer with that rattling around in my brain before my next appointment with him, which wasn't until late August.

 So I had my follow-up with him in late August, and he essentially says, after looking at blood labs, x-rays, and MRIs, that he doesn't know what's wrong with my joints. He says I actually don't have any of the things he originally said I had. No osteoarthritis. No inflammatory condition. Not that he had the decency to own his own mistakes.

 He wouldn't even acknowledge all the nonsense he had told me in the first appointment. In fact, he insisted that he was more frustrated than me since he had 80 patients just like me. Like I said, Roman Senator levels of arrogance. 

So that's the kind of nonsense I'm dealing with behind the scenes here. So I do ask all of you for your patience. I aim to get an episode out every month, but most days I'm pushing through a lot of pain and I feel god-awful. Plus these doctor's appointments, which are often very far away from me, take up a lot of my time. So if I miss a month, or if I have to push an episode release date back by a week or two, please bear with me. In time, I will get healthy again. 

And for all of you that have reached out to me while I took my health hiatus to see how I was doing, or to let me know how much you love the podcast, or even to donate money despite the fact that I wasn't putting out new content, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You guys continually gave me the motivation to keep on pushing through all of these issues and to get back to what I enjoy so much, creating episodes of The March of History. 

So I hope you enjoyed this episode and I hope you enjoy the remakes of episodes 1A and 1B. If you haven't heard those yet, you should definitely go check them out. As for me, I don't know what the future holds, and life feels completely up in the air for me right now. But what I can tell you is that I have no intention of spending the rest of my life chronically ill.

 I have every intention of returning to 100% health, better than 100% health. And right now, what I can tell you is The March of History is back. Ladies and gentlemen, I am back.