81. Cicero’s Agonizing Decision

Welcome to the March of History, episode 81, Cicero's agonizing decision. In our episode today, we are moving back in time to Italy in the spring of 49 BC. There we left Cicero struggling mightily to decide which side to join in this civil war. That was back in episode 70. Even after Pompey was chased out of Italy and even after Cicero met with Caesar in person, still he struggled to come to a decision.

And so, even as Caesar departed from Rome to take the war to Spain, Cicero remained in his country villas, writing letter after letter to his best friend and brother-in-law, Atticus, desperate to gain some kind of clarity. And that is where we will pick back up our episode today. Actually, to be more precise, we are going to begin with some quotes from Cicero's letters from before Caesar leaves Italy, in order to give you a flavor for his thoughts and emotions. We will then progress forward in time through the spring of 49 BC. So, without further ado, let us begin.

Cicero is stressed. So stressed that it is affecting him physically. He can't sleep at night. His eyes have become inflamed. So much so that he needs a scribe to write his letters for him.

Cicero is also deeply depressed. And what is stressing and depressing Cicero is the fractured state of his beloved Republic and his uncertainty as to how he should respond to this fracturing. In general, Cicero feels the side of Pompey in the Optimates is the more legitimate of the two sides. He identifies these men with the Republic. At the same time, Cicero is appalled with the conduct and future plans of these men who call themselves ‘the best men’ or the ‘good men’. That is, the Optimates or the Boni, respectively.

And of all these ‘best men’, it is their wartime leader, Pompey Magnus, who Cicero is most disappointed in and upset with. In fact, Cicero is quite clearly more upset with Pompey than he is with Caesar, because he expected so much more of Pompey. And when I say Cicero is more upset with Pompey than he is with Caesar, that isn't just me reading between the lines. Cicero actually says so in his own words.

On March 10th, 49 BC, still writing from his villa at Formiae, Cicero writes in a letter to Atticus,

“...what am I to do about Pompey? With whom—for why should I deny it ?-I am downright angry.”

A little later in that same letter, Cicero adds that when he reflects on the disastrous events of that year, he concludes that they are Pompey's fault. He then writes that, based on this conclusion,

“I feel more hostile to him (meaning Pompey) than to Caesar himself…”.

And the more Cicero reflects on Pompey's past behavior and future plans, the more disgusted with the man he becomes. On March 18th, in another letter to Atticus, Cicero reflects back to earlier in the year, back in mid-January of 49 BC, about a week after Caesar had crossed the Rubicon. Cicero writes,

“On the 17th of January I could see that he (meaning Pompey) was thoroughly frightened. On that very day I detected his design. From that moment he forfeited my confidence, and never ceased committing one blunder after another. Meanwhile, never a line to me; no thought of anything but flight. Need I say more?”

And it isn't just Pompey's past blundering that led to the Rubicon crossing that Cicero is fired up about. Cicero is even more concerned about Pompey's future plans in this war. Again and again, Cicero compares Pompey to Sulla. What's more, this isn't a comparison Cicero has pulled out of thin air. He writes that he has often heard Pompey make this exact comparison. That is, Pompey makes this comparison about himself.

On March 13th of 49 BC, Cicero writes to Atticus,

“For our friend Pompey has set his heart to a surprising degree on imitating Sulla's reign. I am not speaking without book, I assure you. He never made less of a secret of anything.”

Cicero then continues a little later in that letter, imagining Atticus asking him a question. So it starts out with Atticus's imagined question.

“'Is not the cause, then, a good one?’ (Cicero then gives his answer) Nay, the best: but it will be conducted, remember, in the most criminal way. The first plan is to choke off the city and Italy by starving them; the next, to devastate the country with sword and fire, and not to keep their hands off the money of the wealthy.”

Cicero then goes on to say that he expects the same from Caesar's side and so there being no difference between the two sides, it may be best for him to just stay home and stay neutral and await the result. Even still, Caesar has already proved with his actions that clemency is a major policy of his. Cicero has his doubts as to how long this will last, but at the moment Caesar's being clement and merciful, and all of his speech also reflects this… with the notable exception of his threats to the tribune Metellus who tried to block the treasury.

Now, the same cannot be said of Pompey and so Cicero frets endlessly about Pompey's plans to be another Sulla. He is appalled at the violent methods Pompey intends to employ to gain back control of Italy and Rome. Cicero is terrified that Pompey will destroy their country in his efforts to liberate their country. Later in that same letter, Cicero writes of Pompey,

“​​I promise you that, if he wins, he will not leave a tile on any roof in Italy! ‘You his ally, then?’ (he imagines Atticus asking him, and he gives his reply) Yes, by Hercules, against my own judgment, and against the warnings of all history;…”

So Cicero is stuck in this position where the side he naturally feels has the higher cause, the side he feels inclined to follow, is planning on behaving in a dastardly way. And again, Cicero says that all of this isn't rumor and hearsay. He knows all these men well and he has heard them talk of such things. On March 17th, Cicero writes to Atticus,

“Nor have I any doubt left of a murderous war impending, which will begin with a famine. And yet I am vexed that I am not taking part in such a war! A war in which wickedness is certain to attain such dimensions, that, whereas it is a crime not to support one's parents, our leaders will think themselves entitled to starve to death the supreme and holiest of parents-their country! And this fear is not with me a matter of conjecture: I have heard their actual words. The whole object of collecting this fleet from Alexandria, Colchis, Tyre, Sidon, Aradus, Cyprus, Pamphylia, Lycia, Rhodes, Chios, Byzantium, Lesbos, Zmyrna, Miletus, Cos, is to intercept the supplies of Italy and blockade the Corn—growing provinces.”

In case you missed it, it's worth repeating. Cicero writes that he has heard Pompey and the Optimates' actual words to these effect. And as you can see from that letter I just read, Cicero is well aware of this twisted irony that the side he is feeling so guilty about not joining intends to do all of these horrible things. He realizes that the men constituting the cause he feels is morally just intend to use horrific means to attain that end. And yet, he can never quite reach the point of realizing that if the side of Pompey and the Optimates intends to do all of these horrible things, then perhaps they aren't the moral side after all.

But the Optimates' hold over the hearts and minds of the Republic is strong. The Optimates contain most of the elite old families many a Roman would like to imitate. They have great moral authority. Cicero, for one, finds it difficult to see past this moral authority. And he's not the only one.

Now, it's not just the bad intentions of Pompey and the Optimates that make Cicero despair. It's also their incompetence. On March 4th of 49 BC, in a truly damning statement about Pompey, Cicero writes,

“It is not, in truth, that man who attracts me, as is thought to be the case: I long ago knew him to be the most incapable of politicians, I now know him also to be the least capable of generals.”

So even if Cicero didn't have fears of Pompey and the Optimates' brutality, he doesn't have much confidence in their ability to win.

In that same letter, Cicero comments on the fact that his wife's freedman, named Philotimus, informed him that the Optimates were dragging Cicero's name through the mud for having remained neutral so far. And when I read this, remember, Optimates means ‘the best men’. Cicero writes,

“He says I am being torn to pieces by the Optimates. Ye Gods! Optimates indeed! See how they are rushing to meet Caesar, and parading their loyalty to him!”

So, “ye gods, Optimates indeed”, he's saying, ‘ye gods, best men indeed’. And what Cicero is talking about regarding their rushing to meet Caesar is that he has heard that many of the Optimates, I presume minor ones, rushed to Rome to greet Caesar once Pompey fled Italy and they realized that Caesar would show clemency. Now, I don't know if this is fact or just rumor Cicero has heard, but at this point, Cicero is inclined to believe it. Though I should add that Philotimus was also the same man who said Pompey was marching his army north through Illyricum into Germania. So, that was also wildly false. So, who knows.

In yet another damning quote, this one written on February 17th, Cicero echoes Tiberius Gracchus when he writes of Pompey,

“We are wandering about in distress with wives and children. All our hopes are dependent on the life of one man, who has a dangerous illness every year.”

You gotta love that one. This idea that their entire cause is dependent on a man who apparently gets dangerously sick at least once a year. And you remember we saw Pompey get seriously sick leading up to the crossing of the Rubicon back in episode 67. Well, here, according to Cicero, apparently this happens once a year.

On March 4th, in a line that combines his fears of Pompey's brutality and aims with his fear of Pompey's inadequacy, Cicero writes of Pompey,

“I am joining myself with a man better prepared to devastate Italy than to win a victory, and have only a master to expect.”

Now, another variable that keeps Cicero from going to join the Optimates in Greece is this sheer formidableness of Julius Caesar. He has a sort of intimidating aura. Not because he is brutal, but because he is so damn capable. And given that fact, do you really want to go and join the opposing side to him? On March 1st, Cicero writes to Atticus from Formiae… And in this quote, he starts out talking about Julius Caesar. He writes,

“But do you see upon what sort of man the Republic has fallen? How clear-sighted, how alert, how well prepared! By heaven, if he puts no one to death, nor despoils anyone of anything, he will be most adored by those who had feared him most. The burgesses of the country towns, and the country people also, talk a great deal to me. They don't care a farthing for anything but their lands, their poor villas, their paltry pence. And now observe the reaction: the man in whom they once trusted they now dread (that’s Pompey): the man they dreaded they worship (that’s Caesar). What grave mistakes and vices on our side are accountable for this I cannot think of without sorrow.”

So Cicero recognizes how incredibly capable Julius Caesar is. Unlike many of the arch-Optimates, he isn't blinded by hatred. Cicero also talks in that quote about the notable people of the country towns and the common people in the countryside, who he has had a lot of opportunity to talk to in recent days. And really, in many ways, Cicero is one of them, having come from Arpinum. And what Cicero says of them is evocative of what you often hear from highly politicized people today. He despairs these people couldn't care less about all the great political issues that the political class is battling over. All they care about is the security of their own lands and their own income. As the saying goes, all politics is local. And these people care far more about their own financial well-being than they do any talk of liberty or morality.

Cicero also makes it clear that these people have all turned on Pompey and are now pro-Caesar. At least in the area of Formiae, where he is. And Cicero blames his own side, the Optimates, for this happening.

Now, this letter of Cicero extolling the formidableness of Julius Caesar, it's not a one-off. On March 29th, Cicero writes to Atticus from his hometown of Arpinum, saying,

“He (meaning Caesar) is extraordinarily vigilant, extraordinarily bold: I see no limit to the mischief.”

Later, on April 1, Cicero writes,

“We cannot possibly be his match on land”

Elsewhere, he talks of the man's own self-confidence, meaning Caesar's self-confidence, which apparently impresses Cicero.

However, Cicero is not of one mind about anything during this period. And at times, he also sees doom on the horizon for Julius Caesar. On May 2nd, and I know we are jumping around here in dates, but as I said, I'm trying to give you an idea of Cicero's thoughts and feelings during this period and how all over the place they are. We will eventually get onto a more of a chronological narrative. But anyway, on May 2nd, writing from Cumae, Cicero writes about Caesar,

“For I see clearly that he can by no possibility keep his position much longer without bringing on his own collapse, even though we do not exert ourselves: seeing that at the very heyday of his success, and with the charm of novelty upon him, in six or seven days, he brought upon himself the bitterest hatred even of that needy and reckless city rabble itself and had to drop so quickly two of his assumptions—of clemency in the case of Metellus, of wealth in the matter of the treasury.”

Cicero there is referring to Caesar threatening the tribune Metellus with death and seizing funds from the Roman treasury. Cicero believes that by doing so, Caesar lost the support of the city rabble, who have so long been his supporters.

He also believes that, with this one move, Caesar very clearly abandoned two of his core tenets. One, that he would show clemency to his foes, and two, that he would leave the wealth of others intact. Cicero declares that based on this,

“…this despotism can scarcely last six months.” 

He goes on to say,

“Fall he must, either by the hands of his opponents or by his own, who, indeed, is his own most dangerous enemy. I only hope it may happen while we are still alive.”

So Cicero not only believes Caesar is shortly headed for doom, and that he is the architect of his own doom, he also hopes to be alive to see said doom.

And perhaps here is a good place to add that, just because Cicero is far more condemnatory of Pompey in his letters than of Caesar, this does not mean that he is pro-Caesar. Like many people in our modern political landscape, Cicero simply finds himself more angry with the leaders of his own side than with those of the opposition, because he has such higher expectations of his own side. And so, though Cicero criticizes Pompey in far harsher terms, and far more often than Caesar in these letters, don't make the mistake of thinking that makes him a Caesarian.

Moving on, as we said back in episode 70, Cicero also dislikes the men surrounding Julius Caesar. He writes to Atticus of these men, and I'm paraphrasing just a little here, but he says — Are those to rule provinces, of whom not one could manage his own estate two months?By this he means, these men are bankrupts. They are men who have squandered their own inheritances by gambling, luxurious living, and other vices. That's why they're flocking to Caesar. They hope to benefit from his victory in civil war to change their own fortunes. And Caesar plans to put these sorts of characters in charge of the empire? Like Cicero said, they couldn't even manage their own personal finances.

And back when Cicero met Caesar at Formiae, I think back in episode 70 I mispronounced the name as Formiae, but it's actually Formiae, so back when Cicero met Caesar at Formiae on March 29th of 49 BC, he actually saw this pack of ‘clowns’ as he might see them, and this shocked Cicero. On April 1st, Cicero writes about this experience from Arpinum, as usual, to Atticus, saying,

“Don't imagine that there is a single scoundrel in Italy who is not to be found among them. I saw them en masse at Formiae. I never, by Hercules! believed them to be human beings, and I knew them all: but I had never seen them collected in one place.”

So to Cicero's mind, this is a band of scoundrels, all of whom he has either encountered in the past or has heard of. But you get the impression from his letter that you might encounter or see just one of these men in a given day, depending on what part of Rome you are in or what town of Italy you are visiting. But at Formiae, when Caesar was visiting, Cicero was shocked to see the whole pack of clowns assembled together in one place. He'd never seen anything like it. It's as if Caesar has assembled the ancient whack pack around himself, for those out there who are Howard Stern fans. Of course, this is all Cicero's impression of these men, but I imagine they must all be upper crust, or else Cicero would not have heard of them, just disreputable members of the upper crust.

But as much as Cicero disagrees with Caesar and dislikes the men around Caesar, he just can't escape this fact that Pompey intends to do his best impression of Sulla if he wins this war. On March 18th, Cicero writes to Atticus regarding Pompey's threats,

“What threats to the towns, to individual loyalists personally, to everybody, in fact, who stayed in Rome! How often did I hear ‘Sulla could do it, why not I?’”

That last quote within the quote, ‘Sulla could do it, why not I?’, is of course Cicero quoting what he claims he has heard Pompey say many times. And lest you think maybe Cicero means Pompey will reorder the state like Sulla did. Maybe you think Cicero doesn't actually mean that Pompey intends proscriptions. Well, later in that same letter, Cicero clears that up,

“This ‘disgraceful' measure our friend Gnaeus had contemplated two years ago: for so long a time past has his mind been set on playing the Sulla and indulging in proscriptions.”

And when I say Gnaeus, I used to pronounce Pompey's praenomen in Gnaeus, I have recently found out that it should be pronounced more like Gnaeus than Gnaeus, so that's who Gnaeus is, it's Pompey.

Two days later, on March 20th, Cicero writes that he met men who were with Pompey and the Optimates at Brundisium, but who left before the siege began. They told Cicero that a lot of horrible things were being said by these men. Cicero writes on this,

“They one and all, even Crassipes—who is a sensible enough man to take note of what was going on—tell the same story of threatening speeches, alienation from the Optimates, hostility to the municipal towns, undisguised proscriptions—Sullas pure and simple.”

I do love that last line, Sulla’s, that is plural Sulla's, pure and simple.

Cicero's choice is clearly not easy, and so he spends months analyzing every angle and agonizing over what to do. On March 12th, Cicero tells Atticus he has selected certain theses, which he says have both a general bearing on a citizen's duty and a particular relation to the present crisis. Essentially, these are rhetorical questions he's asking himself and posing to Atticus to help clarify for himself what the moral thing to do in this situation is. They go as follows:

Ought one to remain in one's country when under a tyrant?

If one's country is under a tyrant, ought one to labor at all hazards for the abolition of tyranny, even at the risk of the total destruction of the city?

Or ought we to be on our guard against the man attempting the abolition, lest he should rise too high himself?

Ought one to assist one's country when under a tyrant by seizing opportunities and by argument rather than by war?

Is it acting like a good citizen to quit one's country when under a tyrant for any other land, and there to remain quiet?

Or ought one to face any and every danger for liberty's sake?

Ought one to wage war upon and besiege one's native town if it is under a tyrant?

Even if one does not approve of abolition of tyranny by war, ought one still to enroll oneself in the ranks of the loyalists?

Ought one in politics to share the dangers of one's benefactors and friends, even though one does not think their general policy to be wise?

And the final question Cicero asks is so overly specific in its application to himself, it's almost a little humorous or comical. He writes:

Should a man who has done conspicuous services to his country, and on that very account has been shamefully treated and exposed to envy, voluntarily place himself in danger for his country?

Or may he be permitted at length to take thought for himself and those nearest and dearest to him, giving up all political struggles against the stronger party?

Essentially, having done so much for Rome, and having been treated so poorly when he was exiled, can Cicero just be excused to just sit this one out? Like I said, the question is so specific in its application to him, it's kind of comical.

Now, all of these questions, perhaps with the exception of that last one, are deep and profound questions for anyone living in a democratic society, even today. And there are no easy answers. Cicero, being the very intellectual guy he is, writes that he discussed both sides of the argument for each question in both Latin and Greek.

And for Cicero, it isn't always a debate over Caesar vs. Pompey and which one to join. There are times when he thinks he should remain neutral and not choose either side. Back on January 25th of 49 BC, he wrote to Atticus,

“For my part, I never cease urging peace, which, however unfair, is better than the justest war in the world.”

Later, on March 17th of that same year, where all this is in 49 BC, he writes,

“...it were better in my eyes to perish in my country, than to ruin it in the attempt to save it.”

Again, there's this idea of, is it morally right to ruin your country by war in an attempt to save it from a tyrant? Also expressed there is the fear that if he leaves Italy, he may never return, he may die abroad in a strange land. And for a homebody like Cicero, who already had one traumatizing experience with exile, this is a horrible thought.

Nevertheless, Cicero does decide at various points to remain neutral and even talks in several letters of sailing to Malta, yes, the island in the Mediterranean, in order to get out of the way of either side. The fear being that to remain in Italy might look like tacit support for Caesar and may draw the wrath of Pompey when he eventually comes back. And this neutrality plan actually gets legs.

On April 7th, 11 days after Cicero met with Caesar at Formiae, Cicero writes to Atticus to say that he received a letter from Caesar excusing his absence from the Senate. Cicero writes,

“Caesar writes to say that he excuses my non-appearance, and declares that he doesn't take it at all amiss.”

Now, Cicero takes this statement to mean that Caesar supports his remaining neutral. And based on other letters, including one from Caesar himself, I'd say he's right. After all, Caesar has adopted the policy of considering anyone not actively against him to be for him.

But still, Cicero is not decisive in this policy or in any other policy on this matter. And so even with permission from Caesar to remain neutral, he continues to vacillate. And in the process, Cicero expresses that he feels incredibly negative about the future of the Republic. Multiple times, he writes that he regards the Republic as “completely abolished" or “non-existent”. At one point, he refers to “the falling Republic”. And it all gives him so much anxiety. In one letter, Cicero says he can't even bear to hear the name of Rome, which he simply calls "the city”.

Now, thus far, I've given many of the higher ideals Cicero is wrestling with in making his decision. But there are others that seem less high-minded. On March 20th, Cicero writes that he does not wish to hurt Pompey's feelings by remaining in Italy. Now, that may seem to us like a very bizarre reason for him to choose one side or another. But Cicero continues to feel a great sense of personal obligation to Pompey. And personal obligation is important in the ancient Roman world.

Atticus, however, tells Cicero that it is rather Cicero's declaration of Pompey's services that makes him seem under obligation to him rather than the actual amount of services themselves. Meaning, to put that in simpler English, it is only because Cicero keeps declaring himself to be so indebted to Pompey that he appears to be indebted to Pompey. In reality, Atticus believes Pompey's services to Cicero have fallen far short of what Cicero declares them to be.

And Cicero actually agrees with this and writes that he has always magnified Pompey's services to him beyond what they actually were, the more so to prevent Pompey from thinking that he remembers Pompey's earlier conduct. Meaning, with regard to the exile, I assume.

Various times, Cicero will resolve to leave Italy and join Pompey. When he makes such a declaration on April 1st, he writes that he leaves Italy not for the Republic, but, and this is a quote of Cicero's, “to prevent anyone thinking me ungrateful to the man (meaning Pompey), who relieved me from the miseries which he had himself inflicted upon me.”.

He's referring there to the whole feud with Clodius and his subsequent exile. Pompey allowed him to be exiled and then eventually rescued him from exile, thus resolving a crisis of his own making.

In several other letters, Cicero describes variations of a sentiment it's difficult to make sense of and it isn't always expressed with the same meaning. I think it's more meant to be poetic and dramatic than anything, but he writes, “that it is better to be beaten with the one, than to conquer with the other.” He is saying it is better to be beaten with Pompey than to be victorious with Caesar.

In another letter, he gives a different version, writing of Pompey, “For while I was never willing to be the partner of his victory, I should have preferred having been associated with his disaster.” In this version, he is saying that he has no interest in being part of Pompey's victory, where fire and sword and famine will be brought to Italy, and rather, he would prefer to join Pompey in defeat. Like I said, it's a very strange and poetic sentiment, where he imagines himself having choosing what he sees as the heroic and moral side, but since they lose, he never has to feel guilty about subsequent proscriptions, famine, and war.

In yet another letter, Cicero quotes Atticus as advising him that he should be more content to “be more content to be beaten in the contest along with him (meaning Pompey), than reign with Caesar in the sink of iniquity which will evidently prevail here.” Again, that is similar to the first version, that it is better to be beaten with Pompey than victorious with Caesar.

And in again, an alternate version, Cicero writes, “For I think myself more bound to abandon Caesar when he is victorious than when he is beaten, and not more when his success is still uncertain, than when he is quite sure of it.” Again, this strange desire not to be on the winning side in a civil war. This time he reverses it though, and rather than talking of Pompey, he says he's more likely to abandon Caesar in victory than in defeat.

Really, I think what all of these statements come down to is that Cicero believes the winner will behave like Sulla and do horrible things to his countrymen. The only way to remain a moral man is to choose the losing side.

Putting sentiments like these aside though, Cicero also has friends and family writing him letters advising, begging, and pleading for him to take certain actions. On March 15th, his son-in-law Dolabella, before he loses a fleet in the Adriatic, writes to Cicero with his own advice. But Cicero writes that Dolabella “breathes nothing but war”. It's a great line, “breathes nothing but war”.

Meanwhile, Cicero's pregnant daughter Tullia, and Dolabella's wife, sends Cicero letters pleading with him to wait until news of how the Spanish campaigns turn out before making any big decisions. Clearly she is concerned he's going to join Pompey. And she isn't wrong in this fear. Cicero, despite all of his prevarication and anger at Pompey, still finds himself leaning heavily toward joining Pompey.

And at several points, he at least appears to make the decision to indeed leave Italy and sail to Greece. But he struggles with the logistics of this decision. First of all, it has to be kept secret. Cicero can't have Caesar or any of his subordinates finding out. In fact, Cicero can't have anyone find out, since even a neutral person might run with this information to Caesar or one of his men in order to curry favor with them.

And then there are all the ears of the people the upper classes often tend to forget. The slaves, the servants, the freedmen, the letter couriers. These people all hear and see things, and they are liable to talk. And while their word might not be enough to accuse Cicero of anything, it might be enough for the Caesareans to increase their vigilance in watching him.

And, of course, chartering a ship to take you to Greece and Pompey inherently requires you to tell people. You need to find a port to depart out of. You need to find a captain who is willing to take you. You need to negotiate a price. You need to gather supplies. All of this requires time, effort, and you have to tell people to gather all these things. But before any of that can come into play, Cicero has to decide if it is even safe, given the season, to sail anywhere.

Cicero is not a man famous for his physical courage. So, unsurprisingly, he worries that the seas are too dangerous this time of year to risk a journey. But, of course, that all depends on your tolerance to risk. Ahenobarbus seems to be sailing all over the Mediterranean during these unideal times. The man even sailed directly into a storm to escape Caesar. Caesar himself, meanwhile, in a short time will launch an entire fleet in the middle of winter, the worst possible season.

Well, Cicero eventually decides that the Lower Sea, as he calls the Tyrrhenian Sea, to the Italy's west, is too dangerous to travel on in March. Therefore, he will depart via what he calls the Upper Sea, the Adriatic Sea. But with Cicero, this is not so much a concrete plan as an aspiration. An aspiration he continues to be unsure about. He also has to plan a land route to get to the Adriatic, preferably without running into anyone he knows. And he needs an excuse for traveling to the Adriatic in case anyone should hear of this and become suspicious. So, essentially, there is a lot of planning to be done, and Cicero hasn't yet attained the conviction that will allow him to plan all of this quickly and execute on it efficiently.

But as this planning is taking place, or at least being aspired to, Cicero is stabbed in the back… by his own family. That is, figuratively, not literally. On April 14th, Cicero writes that his 17-year-old nephew, Quintus, son of his brother Quintus, who served in the Gallic Wars with Caesar, wrote a letter to Julius Caesar in which, Cicero fears, young Quintus denounced his plans to Caesar.

Essentially, he fears that young Quintus, who is strongly pro-Caesar, ratted him out. And young Quintus seems to be staying with Cicero in Cumae at this time, and so would have been around to hear of Cicero's plans. And seeing as Cicero would never let this kid write to Caesar if he could help it, I imagine Quintus wrote this letter secretly.

Now, this whole family scandal is interesting because Cicero writes about it quite honestly. And he does so because Atticus, his best friend and the man he's writing to, Atticus's sister is married to Quintus senior, meaning the father of young Quintus. So, Atticus's sister is married to Cicero's brother. So, the young Quintus is both of their nephew. So, this is an issue among families. So, he feels comfortable being honest and sharing all the details that he has.

Well, Quintus goes a step further than just sending a letter to Caesar, and actually pulls a runner. He leaves Cumae, presumably without permission, and heads to Rome. Remember, he's only 17. There, Cicero has heard rumor now that he managed to get himself a meeting with Caesar's legate, Aulus Hirtius, the same man who wrote the final book on the Gallic War commentaries.

And after this interview, Cicero again has heard that young Quintus was invited to an interview with Julius Caesar himself, who at this point is still in Rome. Cicero has heard that the young Quintus essentially denounced him to Caesar, tells Caesar that Cicero is entirely opposed to his views, tells Caesar that his uncle, Marcus Cicero, plans to flee Italy and join Pompey. And if this is true, this is a devastating blow for Cicero, and a real betrayal, and from a family member no less, which also makes it a great embarrassment.

Now, that same day that that letter was written, on April 12th of 49 BC, Curio pops in to visit Cicero. At this point, this is before Curio has even gone to Sicily. Curio and Cicero get to talking. Cicero gets a kick out of many of these young wild guys that he mentors. Their personalities couldn't be any more different to Cicero's, but as long as they show him respect, he finds them amusing. In fact, Cicero's relationship with these young wild guys goes one of two ways. Either he mentors and befriends them, as he did Curio and Caelius, (I think in previous episodes I've said his name as Caelius, but I'm learning that the A-E sound makes an I sound, so it's Caelius. I learned that actually from Adrian Goldsworthy's YouTube channel. You should check that out if you haven't already. In addition to being a great pronunciation guide, he's also an excellent source of information on everything Rome, so definitely check out his channel. But a lot of these words I read all the time and don't get a chance to pronounce or hear pronounced often, so here we are, it's not Caelius, it's Caelius).
So, as I was saying, he either mentors and befriends them, as he did Curio and Caelius, and Curio will even stay with Cicero for a period of time in April before going to Sicily, so they are that close of friends. That is the one way things can go. Or the other is that he becomes their mortal sworn enemies, as with Clodius and eventually Marc Antony.

The one exception being Dolabella, who becomes family, so he's kind of an exception, at least for a time. Eventually, Cicero comes to dislike the man, I think Goldsworthy writes, immensely, maybe even detest him.

Anyway, Cicero says to Curio that he wishes he had asked Caesar for permission to leave Italy, but that he hadn't dared to since he had made no concessions himself to Caesar, had not gone to the Senate meeting Caesar had asked him to come to. And at this point, Cicero is saying to Curio that he intends to go to some remote spot out of the way of either side, which is not entirely disingenuous since his mind flip-flops so often, so maybe at that time he was thinking of that.

"He (meaning Caesar) would have gladly given you leave, indeed, consider that you have obtained it; for I will write and tell him, exactly as you like, that we have spoken on the subject. What does it matter to him, since you do not attend the senate, where you are? Nay, at this very moment you would not have damaged his cause in the least by having quitted Italy.”

Now, this sounds great and is everything Cicero wants to hear, but it isn't remotely true. Curio does not have the power to grant Cicero permission to leave Italy on Caesar's behalf, and it is not true that Cicero leaving Italy would not hurt Caesar's cause. That is false.

Well, Cicero doesn't know this, and so he happily tells Curio that his destination is Greece! Which should have set alarm bells off for Curio. But seeing as everything Curio is saying is BS anyway, what does he care?

Cicero tells Curio it would make the most sense for him to depart from Sicily, which Curio will have control of. Curio, far from saying, hold on a minute, did you say you're going to Greece? Where Pompey is? Instead simply says, “Nothing I should like better”.

All of this leads Cicero to believe that not only can he safely sail to Greece, he no longer has to hide the fact. So, things are really looking up now. Curio will be in control of the Sicilian Straits. Meanwhile, Cicero's son-in-law, Dolabella, is in charge of the Adriatic fleet for Caesar. With two such senior allies among the Caesareans, both in control of the seas around Italy, Cicero's chances of getting out of Italy are looking high. Of course, both these men are headed for disaster, but no one knows that yet.

This optimism doesn't last too long though. At the end of April, Cicero receives a letter from Mark Antony, filled with thinly veiled threats and false courtesy. Mark Antony, you will remember, was left in charge of Italy by Julius Caesar. He is considered a tribune with pro-Praetorian powers. Quite a strange position, I'm not even sure it's a legal position.

Despite Mark Antony's modern reputation for being a soldier, Caesar will far more often use him for political purposes than for combat. This is because Mark Antony is both a reasonably competent politician, and more importantly, an aristocrat's aristocrat. Caesar doesn't have many of these men on his side, so it's best to parade the one that he does have.

It also gives the Romans and Italians less reason to complain when the man ruling Italy in his absence is a member of the well-connected Antonii, a traditional family with great connections and clients all around Italy, rather than some upstart.

And though Plutarch describes Mark Antony in the way we traditionally view him, as the soldier and general, the way I described him for you in episode 67, historian Adrian Goldsworthy believes Antony was nowhere near the general and soldier history remembers him for. Rather, history has been fooled by his propaganda. Anyway, maybe we can talk about that more in depth on some future episode, but right now, in this episode, we still have too much to get through.

Now, it can always be a little difficult to interpret the tone in which someone wrote something. Just think about work emails. Is that email passive-aggressive, or am I reading into it, imagining an attitude that isn't really there? But even still, it's hard to read Mark Antony's letters to Cicero and not see the thinly-veiled threats and hostility. And so, I'm going to read it that way.

It also seems from what Mark Antony writes in his letter that him and Cicero already have some pre-existing dispute. Nothing major where you would call it a full-blown feud, but Mark Antony does reference something, though he does not give details.

Of course, you have the dispute with Curio's father that Cicero mediated on, and maybe Antony didn't like the way Cicero had handled that affair. But potential sources of a grudge go far beyond that. Cicero, after all, executed Mark Antony's stepfather during the Catilinarian Conspiracy. Yes, he executed Antony's stepfather, so that's already a big strike in Mark Antony's book for Cicero.

But Antony refers to whatever the dispute is as a misunderstanding between them, which he says is due to his own jealousy on his part rather than any wrong done by Cicero. Whether those are earnest words or not, I don't know, but I don't think you would call the execution of your stepfather a misunderstanding, so I don't think that that is what he is talking about in this particular letter to Cicero.

Anyway, Antony writes to Cicero at the end of April in what Cicero describes as a disagreeable letter. He writes,

“HAD I not been warmly attached to you—much more warmly, indeed, than you suppose—I should not have been alarmed at the rumour which has reached me about you, especially as I thought it was without foundation. But just because I am so exceedingly devoted to you, I cannot conceal the fact that even a report, however groundless, is a serious thing in my eyes. I cannot believe that you are about to cross the sea, considering how highly you value Dolabella and your dear Tullia, and how highly you are valued by me, to whom, by heaven, your rank and reputation are almost dearer than they are to yourself. Nevertheless, I did not think that it would be friendly in me not to be rendered anxious by the talk even of men of low character.”

Well, this isn't good at all. Clearly, word has made its way to Mark Antony that Cicero is planning to leave Italy; so much for a clandestine escape. Antony also may or may not be threatening Cicero's beloved daughter Tullia in that letter.

Moving on, the last thing I'll point out in the month of April is that in a letter written sometime before April 27th, Cicero writes that he regards it as certain that Pompey is marching his army through Illyricum and into Gaul. Of course, this is not true, but it's always fascinating to hear these wild rumors that were circulating through Rome and Italy at the time.

Now, as we move into May of 49 BC, Cicero receives an emotional letter written from his protege, Caelius. We don't know exactly when in May Cicero receives it, but it seems to me to be early May. Caelius, however, had originally written the letter back on April 16th, while on the march with Caesar to Spain, probably from somewhere in the vicinity of Massilia. This is an age where information is slow to travel, though, so though the letter was written on April 16th, Cicero only replies to this letter in May, which I assume means he didn't receive the letter until May.

Now, I said this letter is an emotional one, and it is. Apparently, when Cicero showed it to his son, Marcus, and his nephew, Quintus, that is, after Quintus' return from denouncing his uncle to Caesar, young Marcus and young Quintus were brought to “floods of tears” from reading it. I mean, “floods of tears” is the word that Cicero uses or the translation.

Now, Caelius is another one of these wild, talented young guys Cicero mentors and befriends. In fact, Cicero went so far as to defend Caelius in a trial brought against him by Clodius' sister, Clodia.

Caelius was apparently a jilted ex-lover of Claudia, who then changed her name to Clodia, and she accused Caelius of attempting to poison her. This is the trial where Cicero made the great quip where he refers to having a personal quarrel of his own with that woman's husband… I mean, brother! I'm always making that mistake.

Just a refresher, there were many stories of Clodius having incestuous relations with his sisters. So, in that speech at the court trial, Cicero is pretending to confuse Clodia's brother with her husband and saying that he always makes that mistake.

Anyway, Caelius writes that he can tell from Cicero's last letter to him that Cicero intends to leave Italy. He says that Cicero did not say so outright, but Caelius could tell nonetheless. And so, Caelius begs Cicero not to do so for the sake of his son, for the sake of his entire family, for the sake of his son-in-law, Dolabella. Caelius also appeals to Cicero's logic, writing,

“Finally consider this: whatever offence your hesitation has caused Pompey you have already incurred; it would be a piece of most consummate folly to act against Caesar now that he is victorious, when you refused to attack him while his fortunes were doubtful—to join the men after they have been driven into flight, whom you refused to follow when they were holding their ground. Take care lest, while feeling ashamed of not being a good enough Optimate, you fail to select the best course for yourself.”

Finally, Caelius tells Cicero that Caesar already knows. He tells Cicero that Caesar has already heard his plans to flee Italy via some unknown source. First, though, he gets a little saucy. Caelius is a good letter writer, and he often gets a little teasingly provocative. It's just playful. So, Caelius writes,

“What hope your people have when the Spains are lost I don't know. Of what, then, you can be thinking to join men in so desperate a position, on my honour, I cannot imagine. What told me, though not in so many words, Caesar had already heard, and he had scarcely said ‘good morning!’ to me when he mentioned what he had heard about you. I said I did not know anything about it, but yet begged him to write you a letter as the best method of inducing you to stay in the country.”

So, Caesar had barely said good morning to Caelius before mentioning that he had heard Cicero is planning to leave Italy. Again, so much for a secret plan. Well, that same day, Caesar does indeed write a letter to Cicero, which we still have preserved today. In it, he first says that he does not think Cicero will do anything imprudent, meaning, I don't think you're going to flee Italy.

However, Caesar goes on to say that he has become anxious due to what he calls common report, presumably regarding Cicero's plans to leave Italy. Caesar impresses upon Cicero that fortune is on his side, and why join the side of the Optimates now that they are losing when you refused to join their side back when everything was still uncertain. Caesar then writes,

“For you will have at once committed a somewhat serious offence against our friendship, and have adopted a course far from beneficial to yourself: since you will make it clear that you have not followed fortune—for all the good luck has notoriously been on our side, all the bad on theirs-nor the merits of the cause, for they are the same now as when you judged it best not to assist at their deliberations: but you will shew that you have condemned some act of mine, and that is the heaviest blow you can inflict on me. In the name of our friendship, I beg you not to do so. Finally, what can be more becoming to a good man, and a peaceable and quiet citizen, than to hold aloof from civil strife?”

Caesar then seems to imply that he himself would hold aloof from civil conflict if he could. Alas, he cannot. At least according to Caesar. Quite ironic to see the lines that, “what can be more becoming to a good man and a peaceable and quiet citizen, than to hold aloof from civil strife”, from the man who crossed the Rubicon! But from Caesar's perspective, what he is saying, is that he was forced into doing that. If you have a choice you ought to stay on the sidelines. The letter then continues with Caesar again encouraging Cicero to remain neutral, though never demanding or threatening him.

And in all of this, we can see just how many plates Caesar keeps spinning at once. Even as he is busy running his army, organizing the siege of Massilia, and planning the Spanish campaign, he still has the time and attention to detail to write Cicero a letter encouraging him to stay neutral. And we can also see how in touch he stays with Roman politics even as he campaigns.

I think we've mentioned it once before, many episodes ago during the Gallic Wars, but it's worth another mention, that according to Plutarch, during the Gallic Wars, Caesar was known to dictate to two different scribes at the same time while on horseback. Plutarch says that Opius, Caesar's agent, claims he would dictate to even more scribes than that simultaneously. And since Opius knew the man and worked with him a lot, I would take Opius' word on that. Plutarch also tells us that Caesar was the first man to begin writing letters to people in Rome while himself in Rome, due to the size of the city and due to his own busyness. Meanwhile, Suetonius tells us Caesar sent letters to intimate friends and family in ciphered code. It was a simple code where the first letter of the alphabet would be substituted for the fourth letter, and so on and so forth. So A would be substituted for D.

Well, getting back to Cicero, none of this looks great for him. His plans are so well known that even Caesar himself, while on the march to Spain, has heard of his plans to leave Italy. On the other hand, Cicero believes Caesar's encouragement to stay neutral is essentially permission to absent himself to Malta. I think this is a bit of wishful thinking on Cicero's part.

Now, we do not have Cicero's reply to Caesar, but we do have his reply to Caelius. It is quite a long-winded reply, so I'm not going to read it all out. I'll just summarize. Essentially, Cicero emphatically lies through his teeth. He denies any plans to leave Italy. He says he can't even understand how Caelius claims to have gotten such an idea from his letter. He indicated nothing of the kind, Cicero says. He assures Caelius that he isn't going to abandon the side on the ascendant for the side on the descendant, meaning he isn't going to abandon Caesar's side, who has been victorious thus far, for the side that is losing.

Meanwhile, Cicero defends the fact that he's been spending lots of time at one of, what he calls, his marine villas. He does so because he finds the spot pleasant, not because he is plotting to leave Italy. And besides, Pompey would never forgive him at this point. And on and on he goes, defending himself and lying through his teeth.

Okay, now let's get back to Mark Antony. As we said already, Antony had sent that sort of hostile or menacing letter to Cicero in late April. In reply, Cicero sends many letters to Antony, assuring him that he has no plans against Caesar and that he has no plans to go to Greece. Of course, again, he is lying through his teeth. He absolutely has plans to go to Greece. Though he does flip-flop on these plans often, so they are hardly concrete, and so maybe it's reasonable to deny them if you're not even committed to them. And then, you really can't blame Cicero. It's not as if he can just tell Mark Antony or Caelius or Caesar flat out, yeah, I'm planning to choose Pompey's side. That would not go down well, so he has to lie, he has to keep this a secret.

Well, on May 3rd, Antony replies to these letters of Cicero. We don't have the actual letter from Antony, but we have Cicero's letter to Atticus quoting Mark Antony's letter. According to Cicero, Antony writes,

“Your decision is perfectly right. For the man who wishes to be neutral remains in the country: he who leaves it appears to express a judgment on one side or the other.”

Antony then goes on to say that in the end, it hardly matters if he approves of Cicero leaving or not. Caesar gave him his command, and Caesar charged him with making sure no one leaves Italy. Antony then advises Cicero to talk to Caesar directly, saying that he has no doubt he will receive Caesar's approval. Cicero does not like this letter. In his letter to Atticus, he writes, “what an admonitory tone he adopts in reply!” Cicero also calls it a laconic dispatch.

Regardless, Cicero says that Antony will arrive in Cumae, where Cicero is, later that day. So, Cicero hopes Antony will pay him a visit the next day. But Antony does not go to see Cicero the next day. In fact, as far as we can tell, Cicero never does get to meet with Antony during this period. You see, Antony is a very, very busy man. And Cicero has heard all about what he is busy with.

Antony has been parading around Italy with his mistress, a famous mime actress named Cytheris. That is her stage name, at least, which derives from a nickname for Aphrodite. So, judging based on that nickname, I'd have to assume she was beautiful.

Her real name was Volumnia, the female form of the name of her old master. Yes, she had at one point been a slave who was freed by her master and, as I said, gained fame as a mime actress. Goldsworthy defines mime as story told through dance and music. Women were allowed to act as mimes, whereas all parts of dramas were played by men.

Cytheris is also a courtesan, a high-end wealthy prostitute who upper-class men would keep as their mistress. In fact, before Cytheris was Antony's mistress, she was the mistress of Brutus. And the culture around courtesans in ancient Rome was actually very interesting. Goldsworthy writes, and this is from his book “Antony and Cleopatra”, he writes that, “These women were usually foreign, and often freed slaves, but were educated and witty, stylish and in many cases able to sing, dance and play musical instruments.”

He goes on to say that courtesans were “Able to flatter and flirt in a way that would have been socially unacceptable for a wife, expensive mistresses offered exciting and glamorous company in affairs that were spicy, but without long-term commitment.”

Now, yes, in the end, these were transactional and temporary relationships, but not strictly transactional. A man, even a senator, could not expect just to hire such a courtesan. She had to be courted and wooed. Lots of gifts bought for her and set her up in a beautiful apartment or house. You know, that sort of thing.

You have to kind of show her that you're willing to provide a luxurious life for her. And you had to keep her happy. If she found another guy who she liked better, whether because of his generosity, his personality, or his looks, or some combination of all three, she could leave her current lover and become this new man's mistress.

So, this was all part of the culture in ancient Rome. But what was not part of the culture was being so public with such a relationship. Antony couldn't care less. He's so aristocratic that rules don't apply to him, and he revels in showing that off. Whereas a man of lower social status, say, like a Cicero, a new man, would have to be careful not to associate himself with the wrong crowd, lest society get the wrong idea about him. Antony is of the Antoni. He's so aristocratic and well-connected, no one can ever mistake him for being low-class. So, Antony can get away with parading his actress mistress around Italy and partying with a band of disreputable people. And, like I said, he revels in this.

It's a comparison I've never heard made before, but Antony is a lot like Sulla. He loves to hang out with the actors and actresses, the artist types the Romans considered the dregs of society. Like Sulla, he is hard-drinking, a reliable friend, and a dangerous enemy. And, like Sulla, Antony has a brutal streak. And he will one day proscribe fellow citizens, just as Sulla had done. These men are remarkably similar. Of course, they are not the exact same person, though and there are differences, too.

But getting back to our story, when I say Antony is parading his mistress, Cytheris, I quite literally mean parading her. As our source for this next quote, we have Cicero's Second Philippic. So this is a speech written as a character assassination of Antony years later. But even still, Cicero's letters from this period that are written at the time do confirm that Antony was parading around with Cytheris, which the Romans found to be scandalous.

Anyway, Cicero says in his Second Philippic, and when he mentions the Tribune of the People in the beginning, he means Antony. So Cicero says,

“The tribune of the people was borne along in a chariot, lictors crowned with laurel preceded him; among whom, on an open litter, was carried an actress; whom honourable men, citizens of the different municipalities, coming out from their towns under compulsion to meet him, saluted not by the name by which she was well known on the stage, but by that of Volumnia. A car followed full of pimps; then a lot of debauched companions; and then his mother, utterly neglected, followed the mistress of her profligate son, as if she had been her daughter-in-law. O the disastrous fecundity of that miserable woman! With the marks of such wickedness as this did that fellow stamp every municipality, and prefecture, and colony, and, in short, the whole of Italy.”

So, according to Cicero, you have this wild train of people parading from town to town, lictors at their head, crowned with laurels of victory. These lictors are followed by Cytheris, or Volumnia, being carried in an open litter for all to see. Or, depending on how you read that passage, perhaps the lictors are the ones carrying Cytheris, even more scandalous. Behind her rides Antony in a chariot, as if he is triumphing. Other translations have Cicero calling it a Gallic chariot. Then, behind Antony is a band of pimps. And behind them is a gang of Antony's companions, who Cicero considers to be degenerates. Finally, at the very back of the train, is Antony's own mother. Neglected by her son. Being forced to follow behind Cytheris, as if Cytheris were her daughter-in-law, rather than her son's mistress. Meanwhile, local dignitaries are under compulsion to come out and greet Antony, given his position, but are then, at the same time, forced to greet Volumnia, or, as Cicero says she was meant to be called, Cytheris. Again, an absolute scandal by Roman standards.

And yes, this is a character assassination of Antony by his enemy, or future enemy, Cicero. But as I said earlier, Cicero writes about this incident at the time of its happening in a letter we still have. And it does sound a lot like how Cicero describes it in his later speech.

Though, of course, it's not as if Cicero doesn't ever exaggerate in his private letters. And it's hard to know if this is something that Cicero actually witnessed himself or just heard gossip about. Anyway, here is Cicero's account of it as written in his letter to Atticus on May 3rd, 49 BC,

“Antony, for his part, is carrying about Cytheris with him with his sedan open, as a second wife. There are, besides, seven sedans in his train, containing friends female or male. See in what disgraceful circumstances we are being done to death…”.

So, like I said, very similar to the speech from the Philippics, but with less color. No talk of his mother or of pimps.

Now, this does not include all of Antony's outrageous behavior during this period. There is more. We have multiple sources, Pliny the Elder, Plutarch, and again, Cicero's letters, who say Antony hooked lions up to his chariot. None of the sources say how successful this experiment was. But think about the logistics of actually attempting to harness lions to a chariot and have them pull you about. And imagine doing so in an age before guns.

That is absolutely reckless. And Antony is supposed to be the adult in the room. He is supposed to be in charge of Italy. Caesar may be flamboyant and a showman, but you don't see him pulling stunts like this, hooking up lions to chariots.

Cicero tells us of one more incident that happened during this time in a letter he writes on May 7th. According to Cicero, it's an example of how great a statesman Antony is.

You see, Antony had sent letters to a number of towns, summoning ten leading men and the quattuorviri, or quattuorviri, I think is the correct pronunciation, the annually elected magistrates from the municipal towns. These men dutifully arrived at Antony's villa early in the morning. But Antony, again, according to Cicero, slept until 9 a.m., making these important men sit around his house and wait for him. And that may not sound that late to us, but to a Roman aristocrat, they were expected to rise before dawn to meet clients at dawn. Meanwhile, Antony is sleeping until 9 a.m. and leaves these men waiting.

Now, maybe you think Antony just accidentally overslept or really needed to sleep. Maybe he's been working hard. No offense intended to these men. Well, Antony is about to show you, that you're wrong!

Upon waking, Antony learns that these men had arrived and learns they are from the towns of Naples and Cumae. Cicero writes that Caesar was very angry with these towns. So to stick it to them, Antony tells them to come back tomorrow. Right now, he's busy. He has to take a bath, and to cure a looseness of the bowels… meaning he has diarrhea. And thus, under such disrespectful pretext, these men are sent away and told to come back tomorrow. It's hard to imagine Caesar approving of this kind of governance. Cicero, meanwhile, writes this letter from his villa at Cumae, where some of these men are from. So presumably, he has heard this story from the townspeople themselves.

Now, if there is one through line between all these anecdotes on Antony, it's that Antony uses power in a very vulgar way. He likes to rub people's noses in his power. He also likes to flaunt all of the Roman cultural norms. And in doing so, he shows off just how aristocratic he is, given that he can actually get away with behaving this way.

Getting back to Cicero, he hears via a friend named Trebatius, who served on Caesar's staff in Gaul, at Cicero's recommendation. So he hears that Antony has received express orders about Cicero. Though what those orders are, he doesn't say. See, Trebatius learned this information from Antony himself. So Antony apparently has express orders from Caesar regarding Cicero. And he is spreading the word to people that he has these orders. But he is being very secretive about what exactly they are. You can imagine, from Cicero's perspective, this is the sort of thing that just makes you want to go crazy.

Around this time, Cicero's letters begin to lapse into self-pity. It's not that every line in each letter is self-pitying, but there is a lot more self-pity in his letters going forward. He complains that he thought he had sealed the deal to leave Italy when he spoke to Curio. He never imagined Antony would have any say in it. He also complains that he is being “watched on every side”, and that, “the closeness of the watch on me is surprising”. Apparently, Caesarian agents are following him and keeping an eye on him. Or at least Cicero thinks so, and he talks of stealing away to creep stealthily into some merchant vessel.

During May, Cicero also begins to mention Spain and Massilia often in his letters. He is delighted by the news that Massilia is resisting Caesar and he calls their resistance glorious. He also believes their resistance is a sign that things must not be going well for Caesar in Spain or else they would not be resisting.

On May 7th, Cicero complains that Antony continues to avoid him and in fact hasn't even sent him a letter. His suspicion is that Antony is trying to avoid telling him no to his face. Days later, on May 12th, Cicero finally receives a letter from Antony. Antony apparently confesses that he was avoiding Cicero. And doing so out of shame, he says, because he thought Cicero was mad at him. Given Antony's personality, this seems like an unlikely excuse for ignoring Cicero, but take it or leave it, it's up to you.

Far more importantly, also on May 12th, Cicero finally mentions concrete plans to escape Italy. He writes that he plans to make a trip to his villa at Pompeii to avoid any suspicion that he intends to leave. And that, as he is on this trip to Pompeii, bread and other stores will be gathered “on board”. Presumably, on board a ship. Cicero writes that his plan was to stay in Pompeii as preparations for this voyage were made. Again, to keep any suspicion away from him.

Two days later, on May 14th, he writes another letter to Atticus regarding the fiasco his trip to Pompeii became. Upon Cicero's arrival at Pompeii, some people came to see him. These people told him that the centurions of the three cohorts stationed at Pompeii wished to visit Cicero the next day. The people told Cicero that these cohorts desired to put themselves and the city of Pompeii in Cicero's hands, meaning under his command.

Now, for Cicero, who is not a military man, who does not like violence, who is trying to fly below the radar to sneak out of Italy, this is a horrendous surprise. It's all the more scary because Cicero still has Imperium. If you remember back to episode 70, Cicero had been lobbying for a triumph after his victories in Cilicia. As such, he had stayed outside the pomerium and kept his lictors. In fact, he often complains in his letters that dragging these lictors everywhere around Italy makes it very difficult to fly below the radar and avoid people's attention.

But, more importantly, since Cicero still has his Imperium from being a pro-consul, he can legally command troops. That's why Pompey had tried to utilize him to raise troops during Caesar's Italian invasion. And that's why these centurions are coming to Cicero now. He has Imperium, which means he can legally take charge of them and wage war against the Caesareans.

For Cicero, this is terrifying because he has no desire to take on the Caesareans by himself in Italy with three cohorts, or any number of troops for that matter. He's not a military man. And this is all made worse because, from the Caesarean perspective, he begins to look like a legitimate threat. He's a pro-consul with Imperium who has probably ex-Pompeian cohorts defecting to him with the intention of raising a rebellion. That's the kind of thing that will get you killed real quick. I mean, good luck convincing anyone, especially Antony, that you had nothing to do with it.

So, the next morning, even before dawn, Cicero takes off from Pompeii and flees back to Cumae where he had come from, in order to prevent these centurions from even having a chance to meet with him. And he's probably right to do so. If you are Antony getting news of something like this, a key part of the information is, did Cicero meet with the centurions of the three cohorts or not? And once it has become clear that he did indeed meet with them, it becomes very hard to convince anyone that, if you're Cicero, that you told them, ‘uh, no, I'm not interested’. ‘Oh, yeah, Antony, I met with the three cohorts, but I told them, no, no, no, I'm not interested.’ He's not going to believe that. I mean, that's just the sort of thing a man plotting a rebellion would claim.

Cicero goes on to say, what was the good of three cohorts? Meaning, three cohorts is not enough to make any kind of stand, but it is enough to get you killed. He also speculates that the whole thing could have been a trap set up to catch him. It could be Cicero paranoia. It could be real. Hard to know.

So, that was a close call. But I have to imagine it begins to increase the pressure on Cicero to get out of Italy, to do so before he ends up dead. Two days later, on May 16th, Cicero writes that stormy weather is delaying his departure. Then, three days after that, Cicero writes that his beloved daughter, Tullia, has given birth to a boy after seven months of pregnancy.

So, yes, the baby boy was born premature. And Cicero describes the baby as a “poor little weakling.”. That may very well sound different in Latin than it does in English. In any event, the baby boy does not live long. So, yet more tragedy for Cicero and his family. Of course, no one more so than Tullia herself. Infant mortality was very high in the ancient world.

In the same letter, Cicero talks about how an astonishingly dead calm has settled over him, and that this has kept him from beginning his journey more than the watch kept on him by the Caesareans. Still, Cicero complains of being spied on, and he tells Atticus that from now on he will not write to him of anything that he will do, but only what he already has done. Furthermore, he says not to expect any more letters from him until he has arrived at his destination. He does not put the destination in writing.

The last bit of information we glean from this letter is that Atticus apparently spoke with Caesar's agent, Balbus, and Balbus indicated he was not in favor of Cicero going to Malta, and furthermore, expressed suspicions of Cicero's intentions. Cicero had, by that time of that letter that he had written to Atticus, already written a letter to Balbus denying any such suspicious plans.

Cicero then leaves Cumae and heads for his villa at Formiae, on the coast of the Tyrrhenian Sea. Then, about three weeks later, on June 7th, we have our final letter from Cicero in Italy during this period, and indeed his final letter of 49 BC.

He writes this letter, in his own words, at the moment of embarkation, where he is joined by his son Marcus and his troublesome nephew, Quintus. It is a goodbye letter to his wife, Terentia.

In this final letter, Cicero talks to his wife of how, the last time they had seen each other, his uneasy feelings and melancholy thoughts had kept her in extreme distress. However, he says he has ejected all such thoughts and feelings, quite literally. Cicero says that the day after departing from Terentia, he threw up pure bile all night, and that after that, he felt much better. So much so, that he thinks some god must have worked the cure. Cicero then writes,

“I hope I have a very good ship. I write this at the moment of embarkation. Presently I will compose a large number of letters to our friends, to whose protection I will commend you and our dear Tulliola (a nickname for his daughter) with the greatest earnestness. I would have added exhortations to you with a view to raising your courage, had I not known that you were more courageous than any man.”

Cicero then says his farewells. Referring to his son as ‘young Cicero’, he writes,

“Our charming young Cicero sends his warmest love. Good-bye, good bye.”

And finally, after all that agonizing and philosophizing and scrutinizing and debate, Cicero has made his decision and taken action. He is on board a ship… headed for Greece, there to join Pompey and the Optimates against Julius Caesar.

And if you feel like you missed the part where Cicero firmly came to a decision to take action and join Pompey, you're not wrong. In none of the letters that we have does Cicero officially make such a declaration. Or, in letters where he does seem to, it's just part of him flip-flopping.

And then, of course, by the end, Cicero became too cautious to put such evidence into writing. He was already leaning heavily toward leaving Italy by the time he made his trip to Pompey. He was even getting supplies on board a ship. But that's still not the same as actually leaving.

It is possible that something happened during the three weeks between his last two letters to finally spur him into action. Maybe he heard of Caesar and his army being trapped between two rivers in Spain and starving to death. And perhaps that made his decision for him. After all, Cicero says many senators fled to Italy to join Pompey during this period. But that is just speculation. We can't know for sure what finally made Cicero leave, if indeed it even was a single event.

And that is where our narrative ends today. In our next episode… I'm actually not sure yet which direction we will go. Either Julius Caesar will return to Rome, moving at his typical whirlwind pace, or, we will follow Cicero to Greece and see what the Pompeians have been up to in Caesar and Cicero's absence. We'll have to think on that one. But for now, stay tuned for our ending quote, which is of course from Cicero.

Epilogue

Merry Christmas, Happy Belated Hanukkah, Happy New Years, and Happy Three Kings Day to all those who celebrate. And thank you all for listening.

I'm not exactly sure when this episode will come out, either on Christmas Day or maybe a week or two after. So it'll be around the New Year's time. So I figure I wish you guys all those happy holidays or whatever holiday you do celebrate, I wish you have a happy one. And on that note, I want to take a moment to first celebrate with you, and thank all of you, for your help in some awards the March of History received for 2025.

As many of you know, Spotify puts out their Wrapped at the end of each year. If you are a listener, it gives you all sorts of statistics about your most listened to artists of that year or what song you played the most or what podcast you listened to the most. That kind of stuff. They do the same for creators on Spotify as well. And some of these statistics they sent me were, objectively, if I can be objective as the creator, I would say exceptional.

First, we got an award for the fact that fans listened to the March of History for longer than 98% of other podcasts. You heard that right, 98%. That puts the March of History in the top 2% of shows regarding how long fans listen.

We also got an award for the fact that the March of History receives more comments on its episodes than 98% of other podcasts. Again, that puts us in the top 2% of podcasts with regards to number of comments.

Finally, we got an award for the fact that fans shared the March of History with other people more than the fans of 97% of other podcasts. So again, to do the simple math for you, that puts us in the top 3% of podcasts for shares.

Now, there are a lot of great things about these statistics. First, it shows that you guys, the fans, the listeners, are really doing your part to help the show to grow. You are sharing the show, you are leaving comments on episodes, and you are listening all the way through. The algorithm notices these things.

And that's one of the reasons I wanted to share these awards with you guys. Not just to brag about myself, but to say thank you to you and share that success with all of you guys. So, keep on spreading the word about the March of History. Apparently, it is a very sticky show that sucks new audience members in far more than most. Thank you.

Now, on to our patrons on Patreon. We have two new patrons this episode. The first is named Joe. He has joined our Roman army as an aquilifer, and we are glad to have his generous support. Thank you, Joe.

Our second new patron is Wendy. Wendy has become a munifix in our Roman army. And we are happy to have her on board. Wendy tells me she enjoys listening to the March of History on her frequent trips from Pennsylvania to Massachusetts, which I love to hear.

Wendy further says history comes alive in this show, and that it's both educational and entertaining, which is my aim. So, that's great to hear from her. So, thank you so much, Wendy, for your generosity and for supporting this show. And thank you, Joe, as well.

So, now to list all of our patrons together. We have Mark, Liga, Peggy, Carrie, Desert Legionnaire, Jared, Timothy, Zaire, Glenn, Tony, Brian, and now Joe and Wendy. Thank you all for your generous and continued support. Truly, I appreciate all of your contributions.

And now for our five-star reviews. Our first review comes from the March of History's website. The reviewer's screen name is ZDubNCC1701-C. His or her title reads, ZDub's review then reads like an ad for the March of History, which I got a kick out of. They write, “An absolute delight, a must-listen if enjoy history”. I assume it capped you at letters, so “if you enjoy history”.

Zdub’s review then reads like an ad for The March of History, which I got a kick out of. They write, “Are you looking to learn about one of history’s most important people while being engaged from fantastically researched primary sources with quotes and A+ narration that doesn’t get bogged down in jargon? If so this is the show for you.10/10 highly recommend.”

ZDub, thank you for that glowing review. I do indeed put a lot of effort into research and narration of this show. And as you all know by now, I do love the ancient primary sources.

Our next five-star review is from Jamie on Podcast Republic. Jamie writes, “Love the detailed stories. Nice to witness the podcast improve as time goes by too. Excellent!”. Thank you, Jamie, for the five-star review. And I'm glad to hear that you enjoy the detailed stories and that you appreciate the progression of my own skill as a podcaster. Thank you.

Our third and final five-star review for today comes from Erik on Podcast Republic. Erik writes, “A great podcast about a great man, told by a great storyteller! thank you!”. You are quite welcome, Erik. It is my pleasure. And I love to hear that you appreciate my storytelling. Thank you for the stellar five-star review.

And now for our ending quote. This one is, of course, as I said, from Cicero. Throughout the entirety of this episode, and episode 70 for that matter, as Cicero thought and analyzed and agonized about his decision, I imagine this quote you are about to hear as being the sort of guiding North Star for Cicero, though he took many a detour to get there. The quote was actually written by Cicero back in April of 59 BC, a decade earlier, during Caesar's consulship. But it still tells us a lot about how Cicero thinks and about what's important to him. Cicero writes,

“Yet What would history say of me in 600 years time? For that is a thing which I fear more than the idle chatter of men alive today.”

Now, I should add, just because someone has a belief doesn't mean they always live up to it. And what we've witnessed in this episode, and in episode 70, and indeed have witnessed throughout Cicero's career, is him struggling mightily to live up to his own ideals. Sometimes he achieves his aim. Sometimes he falls short. And other times, it is difficult to even figure out what action actually brings you closer to said ideals, like whose side to join, Pompey's or Caesar's, if you think Pompey's going to destroy the city and proscribe people, but you think he has the moral right on his side. It becomes tougher to figure out, ‘where do my ideals fit into all of this’. And I personally feel that witnessing that struggle in Cicero is what often makes his life worth learning about and so compelling.

And that is it for today. Don't forget you can support the March of History in a variety of ways:

By buying merchandise. The Bibulus t-shirt is available on our website.

You can join Patreon.

You can give a one-time contribution via PayPal or Venmo. I mean, if all listeners gave a single dollar, it would really help me and the show immensely.

You can also leave a five-star rating or review on any podcast platform.

Also, please do leave comments on Spotify, even if you're listening to this years from now. Comments are always welcome. We have to keep that 98% rating up there.

Finally, you can do your Amazon shopping via the link in the show notes of this and all other episodes, and there is no extra charge to you. So just do your shopping through that link, and you help the March of History financially, and there's no extra charge to you.

Also, all the links to Patreon, to PayPal, to Venmo, and everything else are all in the show notes of this episode and all others. So please support the show.

And that is all for today. Thank you so much, all of you, for listening. I hope you had a wonderful 2025, and I hope you have an even better 2026. I am your host, Trevor Fernes. Keep on spreading the word about the show, and I will talk to you in the next episode of The March of History!